Thursday, 5 April 2012

More pin-ups


Old Seamus from Ryanair has done it again.  I have to admit that I have a grudging respect for the bloke, really.

This time he has ordered all his cabin crew to lose weight in order to cut down on fuel bills.  Judging from the front cover of this year's calendar, they don't need to, but I am sure the featured girls were personally hand-picked by Seamus himself - he must have a few munters on board some of the planes.

Still, the calendar is for charity, when all said and done.  Yeah, right.  And I expect cutting down on fuel consumption is just his way of doing his bit to save the environment.  Right again.

I've only ever flown on Ryanair once, and if I have any choice in the matter, I will never fly with them again.  Now I think of it, I believe all the cabin crew were female on my flight - I don't expect Seamus approves of gays, so I doubt if he would have a Chippendale-type calendar out for the lads in any case.

One of the other reasons I have a grudging respect for him is for his almost Tourette's-like insults directed toward his paying passengers - or anyone else he despises - which are miraculously tolerated by them as they are exploited for every penny (cent) from the moment they book the flight to the moment they stretch their cramped legs and are allowed to escape his flying machines at their final destination.  I don't think the phrase 'The Customer is King' features anywhere in his mission statement.

He makes me wish that a Welsh international airline had been formed at the height of the Celtic Tiger boom. I bet that would have been an experience - a bit like 'Fawlty Towers' with wings.

Actually, I have just talked myself into possibly using Ryanair again.  I would like to spend the flight seeing if I can spot Miss August with her regulation kit on, but anorexics just don't do it for me.

16 comments:

  1. Tom, forgive me if I am wrong but could it be that you are turning into a grumpy old man.
    I have never flown Ryanair - preferring British Airways (and if it is a flight where we can afford it (ie just to Europe) Business Class). I know it is extravagant but it does give my arthritic knee such a lot more room and the food is far superior. Am still reeling from the sight of you as a pin up on Tweed - beats the Ryanair calendar any day.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Weaver - where have you been for the last 3 years? Have I ever stopped being a grumpy old man?

      Delete
  2. After that, I wouldn't be surprised if Seamus doesn't send you a few free tickets. That's the most glowing critique I've seen to date!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Forgive if this is a silly question, but what is a munter?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Put it this way - she's no oil-painting. Maybe it's a West Country thing...

      Delete
  4. You gets what you pay for. A couple of years ago we caught one of his penny flights to Bergerac and back. It was out of season (October) but gave us the opportunity to get the grass cut!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's just what I'm saying, Sue - you get what you pay for, then you pay some more to use it. Easy Jet is wonderful by comparison.

      Delete
  5. I know I am not an expert on the female form butI am sure that the second one from the right looks like an alien

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Alien, schmalien - at my age, who's asking?

      Delete
  6. With Ryanair you buy a cheap ticket and get a seat on the plane and one piece of hand luggage. You want a bag in the hold -- you pay, more at the airport than online. You want to board early -- you pay. If he had his way if you want the toilet you'd pay. He even wants standing room -- you'd pay less! And so on... As the Meercat says, 'Simples'! Oh, yes and he goes where no other airline wants to go: like Rodez; like Limoges, like Bergerac...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think you have to pay a quid to use the lavvie too.

      Delete
  7. Tacky calendar. Looks like the front cover of a top shelf magazine, which is about right for Ryanair and Michael O'Leary.....have they used ladyboys as the models ?!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ladyboys, schladyboys - at my age, who's asking?

      Delete
  8. Tacky? Yes.

    Printed off and now on my office wall? YES!!!

    :-D

    ReplyDelete
  9. I only posted it for your benefit, Chris - honest.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Never heard of Ryanair, but then, I've never been to the UK. All the same, this was a funny post!

    ReplyDelete