Purveyor of Bollocks to the Crowned Heads of Europe
Thursday, 5 April 2012
Old Seamus from Ryanair has done it again. I have to admit that I have a grudging respect for the bloke, really.
This time he has ordered all his cabin crew to lose weight in order to cut down on fuel bills. Judging from the front cover of this year's calendar, they don't need to, but I am sure the featured girls were personally hand-picked by Seamus himself - he must have a few munters on board some of the planes.
Still, the calendar is for charity, when all said and done. Yeah, right. And I expect cutting down on fuel consumption is just his way of doing his bit to save the environment. Right again.
I've only ever flown on Ryanair once, and if I have any choice in the matter, I will never fly with them again. Now I think of it, I believe all the cabin crew were female on my flight - I don't expect Seamus approves of gays, so I doubt if he would have a Chippendale-type calendar out for the lads in any case.
One of the other reasons I have a grudging respect for him is for his almost Tourette's-like insults directed toward his paying passengers - or anyone else he despises - which are miraculously tolerated by them as they are exploited for every penny (cent) from the moment they book the flight to the moment they stretch their cramped legs and are allowed to escape his flying machines at their final destination. I don't think the phrase 'The Customer is King' features anywhere in his mission statement.
He makes me wish that a Welsh international airline had been formed at the height of the Celtic Tiger boom. I bet that would have been an experience - a bit like 'Fawlty Towers' with wings.
Actually, I have just talked myself into possibly using Ryanair again. I would like to spend the flight seeing if I can spot Miss August with her regulation kit on, but anorexics just don't do it for me.