Tuesday 27 March 2012

Not my bag

The previous moan about transport for baby and transport in general has inspired this morning's moan - those nasty suitcases with extendable handles and hard wheels on the bottom (see below) which everyone seems to use these days.

Last year, I was sitting in our compact but adorable city apartment, when I heard a noise from the street, the like of which I had never heard before, so I rushed to the window to see what on earth it could be. In the few seconds it took to stand up and look out, various possible causes flashed through my mind, and the most striking one was of some sort of alien army invading our little town, riding on a contraption which was not designed for earthly pavements. I was not far wrong.

About 50 Japanese tourists had been disgorged from a nearby coach, and were all making their way along the road, dragging these suitcases over the uneven slabs and producing an awful cacophony with their identical luggage.

I used to think that skateboards should be fitted with softer, quieter wheels - until I was almost hit by a few riders in town. Now I believe they are kept deliberately noisy to warn you they are coming. I cannot see any advantage to hard wheels on luggage though - the danger with them is when you trip over their handles after they have gone past you and turned a sharp right or left without warning.

People seem to be losing the strength to carry the smallest weights, and every article sold that weighs more than about 10 pounds has to have a 'lifting hazard' sticker on it, depicting a euro-figure with a bad back, just in case you can't speak the language. Cement is now sold in sacks of 25 kilos, when it used to be sold in 1 cwt measures (50 kilos or 112 pounds - the ideal maximum weight for a fit builder).

I was looking out of the window last summer, when I saw a tourist dragging one of these bags down the road, then I noticed that the wheels had come completely off it. This (healthy-looking and large) bloke was so brainwashed by the basic principal sold to him when he purchased the bag, that - rather than push the handles back into retracted mode and pick the wheel-less case up with the handle provided, he just continued dragging it along the sandstone pavements, wearing away the black fabric it was made of. I reckon he only had about 200 yards left to go before he spilled his budgie-smugglers (you see, John - I have found a use for it already!) out and over the street for all to see.

Then there are the particular type of people who always use small back-packs, when an ordinary carrier bag would have sufficed. It's not as if they need to have both hands free at all times, as when cycling or climbing mountains - they just don one of these bags when they go to the shops for a few groceries.

Without exception, every single person (particularly men) who use back-packs in inappropriate circumstances, have absolutely no sense of personal space whatsoever. It's not just that they turn around in china shops and knock rows of cups off the shelf with them, they simply stand in front of you when it is obvious that they are in the wrong position, so the back-pack is merely an outward sign to warn you that they are selfish, stupid space-invaders. The ones with umbrellas as well as back-packs are even worse.

Railway Porters.... no, maybe not.



15 comments:

  1. Proper suitcase; proper shopping basket. I change for no-one!

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    1. Oh, I had you down as one of those old geezers who has a shopping basket with wheels, and a walking-stick attached to the top - even when out mushrooming.

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  2. Hey Mise - I notice that when I go to your blog, there is a sign up which says 'No new comments allowed'. Is that just for me, or does it apply to everyone? If the former, should I take revenge by blocking you from here? I hope not - I need all the friends I can get.

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  3. They work for me! Why lift when you can drag?

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    1. Ok, don't blame me if you get out of condition. Women should always take weight-bearing exercise in later age to guard against osteoporosis - at least that's what I tell H.I.

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    2. And what does H.I. tell you?n;-)

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  4. Damned plastic wagons are loud, too. Damned noisy luggage and damned noisy strollers.
    Who's Mise?

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    1. Mise (pronounced 'Meesha') is my Irish bit on the side. It's a long-distance relationship which exists only in my imagination.

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  5. Tom - I cannot carry a suitcase - wheelies are a godsend to me and to the farmer as both of us have bad backs. Can we have permission to be excused from your general moan please?

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    1. Yes of course. They must be great for people with problems involving spines, etc. It's the young and healthy lot that I object to using them, that's all. I mean, I would feel the same if someone was healthy but rich enough to get pushed around in a wheel-chair.

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  6. Himself and i finally succumbed to purchasing the rollie kind of luggage only after we had taken a long trip with our old stuff in 2003. I had a 1970's mustard yellow suitcase, which stood out like a sore thumb amongst all the soft fabric wheelie ones. At the luggage carousel, a man standing next to me eyed the case as it approached and said, "I used to have one just like that. Sorry i didn't keep it," and looked wistfully as i pulled it off the carousel.

    The customs folks took a different view, and searched the case thoroughly. Very thoroughly. The wheels would have been helpful since we walked about 10 blocks from the Tube station to our hotel, although we made do with switching the carrying hand every third block or so.

    megan

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    1. There was a saying when I was a kid: "I used to have one like that, but the wheels fell off". True.

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  7. I just spent a weekend in NYC. Have you ever walked the streets of Manhattan with suitcases in hand? Without the wheels, I would have had to dump my belongings in the middle of the third block and just walked away. You can never get a cab when you need one.

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    1. Yes, I've walked (a short distance) in Manhattan carrying a bag. The reason why it was only short is that there always seemed to be a yellow cab on the street whenever we needed one. (Batman says, "bbbBelt Buckle-up" - that's how long ago though)

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