"Oi - Flopsy - get your arse out of my face. You're shitting on one of me five-a-day!"
"Get lost, Thumper - this is my patch."
"Your patch?! I've been coming here since the day before yesterday!"
"You weren't even here yesterday, you mixied old fool."
"You weren't even born yesterday. I wasn't here because I was too busy shagging your mother."
"That was my wife, you dirty old git."
"And it was yer mother too - now sod off before I lose my temper , and take your turds with you - this grass tastes foul."
I don't think I could bring myself to buy this wine, just because of the label.