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Today I am desperately trying to get myself into a state of mind which will allow me to view next week's return trip to Germany as a little holiday, but it's proving hard work.

Because we are having to spend 5 and a half hours in Amsterdam, I lightheartedly suggested to H.I. that we nip out of the airport between flights, and pop into the Reijksmuseum to look at the Vermeers... She took me seriously, and now I am working out the logistics of getting there and back without missing our connection, and without having a heart-attack.

So far I have discovered that the best way to 'pop' into down-town Amsterdam from Schipohl airport is to get on a train (one leaves every ten minutes), then get on a tram from the Central Station which takes you almost to the museum's front door. Sounds simple, eh?

The trouble is that shortly after dawn, I will be trying to find the park and ride depot from Bedminster to Lulsgate, here in G.B., and they have changed their address 2 times since I last used them and now appear to be about twice as far away from the airport than they originally were.

The last time I used this car park, we arrived at some horribly early hour of the morning, and asked for our car. After about twenty minutes of waiting, I wandered around the corner to where they parked it, which was in the middle of a large, dirty farm-yard, and saw a group of about 5 Polish men and women, huddled around the open bonnet of the Volvo, and standing in a 2 inch deep, 1 acre pool of liquid pig shit, trying to start it.

I pushed past them and started the car from the jump-leads attached to their mini-bus, then drove around to the front. I never did find out how they drained the battery, but I did notice that they had left the alarm set and howling for about 2 weeks. I vowed never to use them again, but having been enticed into using the airport's own car-park for the sum of £29.99, booking it online and then being asked to pay £49 (how can they legally do this???), I have gone back to the old, WCP company, who charges £25, then - at the last minute - charges you an extra £1 as a 'booking fee'. A booking fee for their own company? I suppose it is a little better than Ryanair, who charge a £30 booking fee for their own flights. This time we are flying KLM - hence the trip to Holland.

If we make it back in time in Amsterdam, we will then get on a plane to Bremen and be met by our mate who will drive us to Bremerhaven. You may remember that - a few weeks ago - when taking us back to the airport for the flight home, he also gave us a 40 mile detour to show us some interesting villages on the way, before we began the nightmare journey home which took about 9 hours, 4 of which were spent on a British motorway.

Well this time he has promised to show us a 'sculpture park' that he quite likes which is close to Bremen. I really do not want to see it (I know his taste in modern sculpture) but don't want to hurt his feelings by telling him so.

I have made him promise, however, that we do not make this tour either on the day of our arrival or departure, and he has assured us that it will be on one of the two days in between. Oh well... a small concession.