I have promised this post - with explanation - to Miss Cellany, so blame her, not me please (any old excuse). After a couple of years of generously sharing her garden, she now wants me to share the joke. Fair enough, I suppose.
It's all to do with cryptic language and the measures taken by some playwrights to get stuff past the censors which would otherwise be stamped on during rehearsals - even if you did own your own theatre. Some playwrights were better at this than others - which explains why Lorca was persecuted to death.
Of course, the uncontested and unsurpassed master of the English language was William Shakespeare, and Miss has just mentioned that a recent study of Tudor coroner's records shows that it is very likely that Shakespeare's play 'Ophelia' was based directly on the death of his sister in Stratford upon Avon, after she drowned whilst out picking flowers on the banks of the Avon itself.
Ok, down to the point. Tudor and Elizabethan slang for a woman's genitalia was 'nothing'. The equivalent for a man's was 'something'. How beautifully simple and descriptive. Positive and negative encapsulated into two single, inoffensive words.
'Much Ado About Nothing' takes on a whole new meaning when you get the reference - as I have only just found out.
Right - any other business... Oh yes. A special welcome to Radders who - I hope - has fulfilled her promise of looking up my blog, made in a Chinese restaurant in Bath last night, under the influence of mono sodium glutamate.
Radders and I have been mates on and off for years and she has always left me wanting for nothing in the relationship. She asked what my blog was about, and I said, "Nothing, really."
"It can't be about nothing - it has to be about something!" she said, and I replied by vaguely saying that it was about anything and everything. Now she knows.