Saturday, 2 April 2011


Going back to the theme of marketing for my iCan innovation, mybabyjohn sent me a suggestion which I made no comment about for reasons which will become clear in a minute. She said:

"Here's another one you can market. Hold a glass up to a wall, put your ear against it and you have a prehistoric version of the whisper 2000. Should make you about as much money as the iCan. No charge for the idea. You're welcome to it."

I did not thank her for her generous offer, simply because I am currently in negotiations with various security agencies around the world for the supply of a device which is so similar to the one she describes, that I am beginning to wonder if my CAD system on the iMac has been hacked into. It is a sensitive issue right now, and the talks have reached a delicate stage, so if you breathe a word of this to anyone outside our immediate circle, I will have to have you eliminated. My Research and Development team have been working night and day on the latest project, and we now have a few prototypes to send to various security fairs around the globe.

Just to think that it all started out with the humble iCan (now available in a choice of Humbrol colours), and from there developed into the 'Stringless iCan' (range: 30 feet, depending on weather conditions), in response to the burgeoning 'bluetooth' market.

Of course, both these devices are aimed at the civilian market, but shortly I will be unveiling the indispensable piece of surveillance equipment so accurately described by mybabyjohn above. It is called.....

... the 'Private iCan' !


  1. For some really irritating reason, if you copy and paste text from one post to another, it messes up the fonts really badly and it is next to impossible to correct it. This is why I have such a weird mixture up there.

  2. Tom,
    You're quite a guy! What did your mom feed you while growing up? Whatever it was, was good. Keep up the good humor, we all need it. Hope you have a great weekend. LadyCat and I are going to the symphony this evening. A friend of ours is one of the violinists and she gives us free tickets from time to time. :)
    Lord Thomas of Wellington (Tom)

  3. Bogspot needs a little fine tuning...maybe that can be your next invention. Oh...I about a machine that puts inky marks on paper with no electricity required? Or has that been done?

  4. tom...
    I may have to burst your bubble

    icans have been utilised here in Wales for many decades.......there are several still in use in our village.....

    perhaps your patent may not be valid!!!

  5. For the 'stringless' version of iCan, does one need a stentorian voice?

  6. I was fed tinned spinach when I was growing up, Lord Thomas. The idea first came to me when bursting a can open with one hand - that's when I invented the can-opener. Have fun at the symphony.

    Mr. Biro has already done it, MBJ.

    Trelawnyd will be hearing from my solicitors in due course, John.

    Funny you should say that, Cro - I'm thinking about launching a non-electronic public address system called 'THE TOWN CRiER'.

    Right - I reckon that's enough iCan jokes (from me) for the time being. What do you think?

  7. I thought you were just getting started.

  8. A lensless telescope, made from similar (left-over) materials; The iSpy with my little iCan.

  9. Security FAIRS?
    Brings up all kind of images. Buzz Lightbeer utility belt lucky dips? um ... jousting? Nightclub bouncer joy rides?

  10. Nice idea, Cro. Believe it or not, the first astronomical telescopes (Indian and Persian) were lenseless, so that's nothing new. How about a series of religious paintings on tin-plated steel which has been hammered out flat? 'iCons'.

    I wish they could be like that, Sarah. Britain exports all sorts of wondrous gadgets at these fairs (electric batons, constraint gear, guns and bombs, etc.) but I think the jousting market dried up some time ago.

  11. You could make a million rupees with these products!

  12. Good point, Amy - THEY could make a million rupees, and I would go to heaven.