Tuesday 8 March 2011

Stardust


I'd like a new suit please.

No problem. What material would you like it to be made from?

It has to be Stardust.

Not a problem. Would you like a coat to go with it, made in the same material?

That would be good. I need a new pair of shoes too - can you get me a pair made from Stardust?

Yes Sir, that is the only material we deal in. May I ask why you require a full, new outfit?

It is my Grand Daughter's birthday party, and I want to look my best. I have had my old suit for 30 years now, and it is starting to look a bit tatty.

I quite understand Sir, though I can see that your suit was of the best quality when you bought it. That suit is timeless. May I ask what your Grand Daughter is made from?

Yes, she is Stardust like her parents - only the best for her!

I quite understand. You must be very proud.

Yes I am. We only have ever bought her and her mother things that have been made from Stardust - like I say, only the best!

And how old will the young lady be?

Well now, let me see... she must be several thousand billion years old at least, but I'm not sure. I feel as though I have known her forever. You'll have to ask my wife!

And what is the young lady's name?

What do you fucking think?



22 comments:

  1. HANG ON A MINUTE! This was not supposed to be a competition to guess the name of the Grand Daughter, it was the last line in the post, that's all. Mises' - they're all the same - you wait for weeks, then one comes along all at once.

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  2. P.S. This post really demonstrates the need for correct punctuation. I thought I had got away with it by using different colours, but obviously not. THE LAST LINE IS THE LAST BLOODY LINE, ALRIGHT?

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  3. "Mr. Humphries, Could you help this gentleman?"

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  4. what about Mrs. Betty Slocombe's pussy?

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  5. Sounds like something Douglas Adams might have written!

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  6. Do we get to see you in your new stardust suit?

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  7. Here's my twopennyworth. Alvine?

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  8. You've got a thing about Mrs Slocombe's pussy, John.

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  9. Hmm, well, what can I say? Makes you wonder how you get from Stardust to Mrs Slocombe's pussy.

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  10. Lots of confussion here about the last line. Like the Yeoman Warder from your post of March 6 said: If you can't think (tactically) and you are blond - have a man think for you!
    But I am blond and I figured out the last line all by myself. Yep! That's me. Supersmart!

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  11. Well said, Iris. All you need now is a picture for your avatar - a nice blonde, maybe?

    Even Mrs Slocombe's pussy was made of Stardust, Sue.

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  12. Does everyone really not know her name is Stardust?

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  13. I thought my reference to Alvin Stardust should have, at least, won second prize!

    Don't spoil things Jaqueline.

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  14. Oh, I was wondering about that, Cro - but not for long.

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  15. O.K., I just called myself "supersmart", but whenever I stick my foot out too far it tends to get chopped off. What the heck is an avatar and how (indeed) do I get my picture next to my comment?

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  16. Go to your blogger set-up, Iris (in the 'dashboard'), then find the bit that says something like 'add picture', then select a picture of yourself completely naked, then add it to your your blog so that it will sit alongside your name on the comments. It's been years since I did it last, but I'm sure it will talk you through the process. Just make sure you have a picture to hand, and you know where it is when it says, 'choose photo' in the 'browse' section. You can do it.

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  17. Thanks for the instructions! I will do that as soon as I have recovered from the shock of having to pose naked. Didn't even know that this was a requirement. Will have to go to the gym first. But where do you go to get in shape for the gym? Hahhhhhh ..... Nothing but trouble in blogland!

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  18. (Between you and me, most people use an old photo of themselves, taken many years ago.)

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