I'd like a new suit please.
No problem. What material would you like it to be made from?
It has to be Stardust.
Not a problem. Would you like a coat to go with it, made in the same material?
That would be good. I need a new pair of shoes too - can you get me a pair made from Stardust?
Yes Sir, that is the only material we deal in. May I ask why you require a full, new outfit?
It is my Grand Daughter's birthday party, and I want to look my best. I have had my old suit for 30 years now, and it is starting to look a bit tatty.
I quite understand Sir, though I can see that your suit was of the best quality when you bought it. That suit is timeless. May I ask what your Grand Daughter is made from?
Yes, she is Stardust like her parents - only the best for her!
I quite understand. You must be very proud.
Yes I am. We only have ever bought her and her mother things that have been made from Stardust - like I say, only the best!
And how old will the young lady be?
Well now, let me see... she must be several thousand billion years old at least, but I'm not sure. I feel as though I have known her forever. You'll have to ask my wife!
And what is the young lady's name?
What do you fucking think?
Molly?
ReplyDeleteLucy
ReplyDeleteHANG ON A MINUTE! This was not supposed to be a competition to guess the name of the Grand Daughter, it was the last line in the post, that's all. Mises' - they're all the same - you wait for weeks, then one comes along all at once.
ReplyDeleteP.S. This post really demonstrates the need for correct punctuation. I thought I had got away with it by using different colours, but obviously not. THE LAST LINE IS THE LAST BLOODY LINE, ALRIGHT?
ReplyDelete"Mr. Humphries, Could you help this gentleman?"
ReplyDeleteAre you being served, Groucho?
ReplyDeletewhat about Mrs. Betty Slocombe's pussy?
ReplyDeleteSounds like something Douglas Adams might have written!
ReplyDeleteDo we get to see you in your new stardust suit?
ReplyDeleteHere's my twopennyworth. Alvine?
ReplyDeleteYou've got a thing about Mrs Slocombe's pussy, John.
ReplyDeleteThat I have thomas!
ReplyDeleteHmm, well, what can I say? Makes you wonder how you get from Stardust to Mrs Slocombe's pussy.
ReplyDeleteLots of confussion here about the last line. Like the Yeoman Warder from your post of March 6 said: If you can't think (tactically) and you are blond - have a man think for you!
ReplyDeleteBut I am blond and I figured out the last line all by myself. Yep! That's me. Supersmart!
Well said, Iris. All you need now is a picture for your avatar - a nice blonde, maybe?
ReplyDeleteEven Mrs Slocombe's pussy was made of Stardust, Sue.
Does everyone really not know her name is Stardust?
ReplyDeleteI thought my reference to Alvin Stardust should have, at least, won second prize!
ReplyDeleteDon't spoil things Jaqueline.
Oh, I was wondering about that, Cro - but not for long.
ReplyDeleteO.K., I just called myself "supersmart", but whenever I stick my foot out too far it tends to get chopped off. What the heck is an avatar and how (indeed) do I get my picture next to my comment?
ReplyDeleteGo to your blogger set-up, Iris (in the 'dashboard'), then find the bit that says something like 'add picture', then select a picture of yourself completely naked, then add it to your your blog so that it will sit alongside your name on the comments. It's been years since I did it last, but I'm sure it will talk you through the process. Just make sure you have a picture to hand, and you know where it is when it says, 'choose photo' in the 'browse' section. You can do it.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the instructions! I will do that as soon as I have recovered from the shock of having to pose naked. Didn't even know that this was a requirement. Will have to go to the gym first. But where do you go to get in shape for the gym? Hahhhhhh ..... Nothing but trouble in blogland!
ReplyDelete(Between you and me, most people use an old photo of themselves, taken many years ago.)
ReplyDelete