Following on from the last post about the timekeepers, here is another joke which I like very much (apologies to any damp Australians reading this - no disrespect intended) :
A man - who happens to be called 'Noah' - falls asleep in his little terraced house one night, and has a strong and disturbing dream. In his dream, God speaks to him and says:
"Noah! Tomorrow the second Great Flood will come, but prepare ye not, for I will save you from the waters!"
When Noah awakes, he goes to the window and draws the curtains. It is absolutely tipping down with rain, and the streets are beginning to become awash with water, but Noah simply goes downstairs and makes himself breakfast, because he - of all people - had been promised by God that he would be saved.
After breakfast, he decided to go for a walk, and when he got outside, the water was about 2 feet deep, and he waded up the street for a walk. A small dinghy rowed up and the people in it told him to climb aboard, because it was going to get worse. Noah said,
"Don't worry about me - I have an arrangement with God!"
The little boat rowed away, and the waters rose further. When they were up to his chest, a police launch appeared and the copper on board said,
"Catch this line!"
Noah responded by saying, "No thanks! I have an arrangement with God!"
They drove the boat away, thinking that he was a lost cause. Then the water rose to his neck, and Noah started to become a little nervous. At that point, a Coast Guard helicopter hovered overhead, and the pilot shouted through a loudspeaker,
"WE WILL LOWER A LINE. PUT YOUR ARMS THROUGH IT AND WE WILL WINCH YOU ON BOARD."
Noah shouted back at them,
"I'M ALRIGHT, THANKS - I HAVE AN ARRANGEMENT WITH GOD!" So the helicopter - being too busy to argue - flew away.
Then the water rose further, covering Noah, and soon he drowned.
As he was being processed by St, Peter in Heaven, Noah was furious, and demanded to see God immediately. He was let into God's office, and shouted,
"What happened? I thought you were going to save me?!" God replied,
"I sent you two boats and a helicopter, what more do you want?"