Every now and then, when I am feeling a bit low, I find myself childishly wondering how my friends and acquaintances would react upon hearing of my untimely death. Of course, everyone sometimes has these thoughts during egocentric bouts of low self-esteem, and they don't last for long, because they make you feel so silly.It always makes me think of the scene in Frederico Fellini's Satyricon when the Roman character above (to the right!) decides he is going to organise his own funeral before he has actually died, because he doesn't want to miss out on the banquet. He lies on a large couch as everyone around him eats, drinks and sings his praises whilst lamenting his departure, with tears streaming down his face at the thought of his own passing.
Somehow, I don't think it works like that. What happens after we have gone is none of our damned business!
I think you are right Tom. Funerals are for the living, not the dead.
ReplyDeleteHowever, my fried got me to host his 'living wake' where we dressed up as Mexican Clarissas and other gory sorts to emulate a festival of the dead. A bit strange, but people turned up from all over to say goodbye and he died three days later. He got to see how well he was loved before he dies! Splendid.
Mmm. That's 'friend' not 'fried'. Sorry
ReplyDeleteI once read of a friend's death, and sent my condolences to his widow. A few days later he phoned me and accused me of having posted the obituary myself. I had a feeling, at the time, that it was in fact HIM who'd posted it, just to see if anyone cared! I wished I hadn't.
ReplyDeleteAt least it wasn't 'fiend', Sarah.
ReplyDeleteBlimey - that's a hell of a bad joke, Cro. I once heard of the death of a friend who had been found drowned in a ditch up north, close to where he had been brought up. A year later, I walked into the pub, and there he was, looking at me and smiling. He saw how confused I was and said, "You thought I was dead, didn't you?" It turned out that the body of a tramp was mistaken for him, and he decided to keep quiet and take a year off life as himself, just for the experience.
I'll tell now Tom...I for one would miss you very very much!
ReplyDeleteAww, shucks... I've no plans to pop my clogs, V.
ReplyDeleteMy high school teacher made us all write our own obituaries....not of course how it would read then, but how we would like it to read one day.....a way to inspire us to set goals. We also had to write one about a classmate so we could get a few for the differences for how you view yourself and how others do.
ReplyDeleteAlso done it in therapy....A very good way to come to terms with how you want people to think about you and how you view yourself.......
I still do the "obituary" thing after a few Gins with my friends. It's hilarious.
I think I have an accurate idea about how my obituary SHOULD read, Raz, but obits are usually not that accurate, unless you read between the lines.
ReplyDeleteFor 'Raconteur', read 'bore'.
For 'Enjoyed the good life', read 'drunkard'.
For 'Did not suffer fools gladly', read 'curmudgeon'.
For 'Forthright views', read 'bully'.
I think my school report would make the best obit for me: "Tom could have tried harder".
Do you think it would be a fun idea for us all to write our own, honest obituary? Let's do it!
ReplyDeleteI have just come through a near death experience. On 5th December last year I had flu-like symptoms and was cussing a bit and then everything went down hill. The doctor told me that unless I saw a consultant within a couple of weeks I was going to die. I've never been through anything like that before and it lasted 5 months. I was pretty convinced I wasn't going to see the spring let alone the summer. It sort of throws you into practical mode and the first thing was to up date my will. I do the paperwork in our house and the next bit was to struggle and make everything as easy as I could for the ones I was leaving behind. I don't think death worries me too much - it's a natural process. I don't really mind what or how anybody writes my obituary. It will probably be painful for some and good riddance for others - that's life! I feel 100% well again now so it was obviously not my time to go. But it sure changed my outlook on life. About you I would write - Tom shines and makes my day brighter.
ReplyDeleteWell I'm glad - now I know that - that I know you, Molly. Even gladder, in fact. That's a nice thing to say about me, but you have to mention my tendency to swear and use foul language too, otherwise it might be a case of 'cry wolf' if I should come back as a zombie.
ReplyDeleteWhat was the nature of your illness, if you don't mind me asking?
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ReplyDeleteI try again...
ReplyDeleteTom, I pulled my post re my obituary because it made J. sad.
I had 4 blood tests over about 2 months which showed my blood had an abnormally high count of white (think it was) cells and anaemia. I had an x-ray which showed I'd got arthritis all up my spine, in my pelvis and my right arm. Two sorts of internal camera tests and an ultrasound. I felt like shite and could only do minimum housework. I lost a stone in weight - never been grossly fat anyway. I couldn't drive or go out on my own. They never did discover what was the problem - something respiratory. The GP has prescribed some quite strong medication which I have to take very morning - got to go back to see him again the beginning of September for a review and also the consultant on the 10th. But I feel 100% well again now so what ever it was has gone with avengence and life is better than its ever been. Because I couldn't go out the only thing that kept me sane was tootling about on my computer when I felt well enough and look where that's got me :>p. I bet you wished you'd never asked - but thanks all the same.
ReplyDeleteInteresting - maybe that's why I can only do minimum housework?
ReplyDeleteI'd hate to miss out on the food part of my own funeral meal, too!
ReplyDeleteI've seen you over at Cro's and thought I'd pop over and say "hellooow"!
Hellooow to you too, Willow. Thanks for the visit. I'll visit you too soon.
ReplyDeleteSuch a morose thought, isn't it? But we all think it. Though you're right, really. What does it matter, after we're gone?
ReplyDeleteI suppose if you believe in lagacies, then what we do now must be important. That rules out suicide for a start - so selfish.
ReplyDelete