Saturday, 14 January 2023

My secret diary


When I was a kid I was given a small, leather-bound book with plain paper, in which I was supposed to write my innermost thoughts and secrets. The outer covers were secured with a leather strap, held together by a little padlock. The padlock had a tiny key which I was supposed to keep hidden at all times.

Because I knew that my older brother would inevitably force the lock to read it, the only thing I wrote in it was 'I knew you would do that', then I left it untouched for a couple of weeks until he thought I had written down enough secrets to make the reading worth the effort of breaking the lock.

Secrets are either too personal to run the risk of someone knowing them before you have died, or too mundane to be worth reading unless for the excruciating humour caused by the writing. Those books are not captain's logs.

As for sitting in a dark wooden box and confessing your sins to a dubious character who says he has a hotline to God, well, my blood runs cold at the thought of it.

What is your darkest secret? I promise I will not tell anyone else.

24 comments:

  1. As if! But my one and only 'confession' to a Catholic priest, caused weeks of trying to work out what were my sins at about 11 years old. Went into the confession box and was out a couple of minutes later with a 100 Hail Marys or whatever.

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  2. I was given one of those diaries by my favourite aunt one Christmas. My mum broke into it to see what I had been up to and I burned it ceremoniously on the back yard. She was then hugely embarrassed because of what the neighbours might think of a teenage girl having a bonfire. I have a sneaky suspicion that Mum and Aunt were in collusion and I never confided in either of them after that.

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    1. They were looking for boys and/or drugs.

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    2. Probably, but they were disappointed. I wasn't daft enough to write anything like that! Just poems and sketches.

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    3. No offense to your mother, but unless there was some real need for her to read your diary (like she thought you were in some kind of danger, or whatever) that was a real shitty thing to do. I'm sorry.

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    4. I know. It was the 1960's and mothers were petrified that their daughters were getting into all kinds of unspeakable scenarios. I now understand how she worried about me. I miss her every day.

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  3. My darkest secretwill go with me to my grave (or rather up in smoke)

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  4. I went to Catholic school and when we were in 2nd grade, we practiced our printing while preparing for our First Confession. So we would copy out sentences like, "I lied ___ times." or "I disobeyed my Mother and Father ___ times." and then we would fill in the blanks with the number to help us remember our sins! I still have those papers! I have to dig them out to see how sinful I was when I was 7 years old! Crazy Catholic church!

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    1. They have a lot to answer for, especially when it comes to children.

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  5. Have you ever seen the Postsecret site? Where people mail in anonymous secrets on a postcard? If not, it's worth having a look at.

    I had a dream that you were in last night, Tom. Blogger friends occasionally pop up in my dreams, but this was a first for you.

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    1. I might send them some of my small secrets... In where did I pop up?

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    2. You popped up living in a house around the corner from my parents. I was visiting you and you were being very flirty, which I didn't mind....and oddly, neither did either of our significant others, even though they were there! I kept urging you to be more discreet, and you kept telling me not to worry, that it was fine. :)

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    3. I sense that you are on the verge of telling me a big secret...

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  6. Mostly I don't have secrets but there are things I wouldn't share with some people as it is best for me and them that they don't know.

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  7. Secrets are shared in person and at the Pub. There might be lots of juicy secrets to share at the Pub.

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    1. You only divulge secrets in a pub if you want the whole world to know them.

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  8. Secrets...I don't have secrets really, but I have things that I choose not to share. Is that the same?

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  9. Yes honestly twenty feet in an hour/

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    1. The Severn tide can be about 25 feet, and it is one of the highest in the world.

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  10. I have one dark secret, which will always remain so.

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