DIY government

There were not many dry eyes amongst anyone who witnessed the reunion between Nazanin Zghari-Ratcliffe's little daughter and her mother - "Mummy!" - this week, now that she has finally been released after all these years.

Why did Britain not return the £380 million which Iran spent on a load of tanks in the 1970s sooner? Because the Americans told us not to. Even now, an ex U.S. Defence Secretary is accusing the British government of funding terrorism by settling the old debt, but hopefully Joe Biden will not punish us any more than we have already punished ourselves.

Of course, it did not help when Boris Johnson stood up and blurted the first thing to come into his head by saying N.Z-R.'s purpose in Iran was to 'train journalists'. That probably added three more years onto her trumped-up sentence.

Most people have been far too preoccupied with the ghastly situation in Ukraine to even think about the stupid parties in Downing Street or the terrible knock-on effect of leaving the European Union, but what does Boris do? He gives a speech to a handful of Tories which he knows will be broadcast worldwide, and embarrasses us all - yet again - by comparing the desperate people of Ukraine to the freedom-loving British people who voted for Brexit. If any half-intelligent people did not think that our prime minister is a dangerous and incompetent liability before, surely they must do now.

The freedom-loving British people have learned to just get on with it and hope that the government do not put too many obstacles in their way when they try to help. Tens of thousands of Brits have offered a home to Ukrainian refugees, but my friend with the Ukrainian wife is currently stuck in Bucharest with her and her parents as they try to get visas from the Home Office to allow them to go through the British arrival gate on their way to Bath, where a large and comfortable house awaits them. It is going to take so long that he will probably have to leave his wife and her parents there so he can come back to work here and wait for them.

Pritti Patel says that without checks, Russian spies will infiltrate the borders and this will be a threat to national security. We have a long history of knowingly hosting Russian spies. We have even contributed to their numbers. The Salisbury poisoners entered Britain on tourist visas.

If - as he surely will - Boris Johnson stands on the top of the dung-heap and crows about the wonderful spirit of the blitz as if he was the reincarnation of Winston Churchill, then I think the Home Office should consider re-introducing the stocks. Bath council have a very serviceable set (above) in the entrance of the Guildhall which I am sure they would gladly donate to Westminster.