Sometime in the 14th century the vicar of the church upset his parishioners by murdering one of them in an attempt to silence him from reporting having witnessed the seduction of a local married woman whilst hiding in a cupboard. The parishioners put him in an iron cage, strung it up from a tree in the churchyard and let him starve to death. Very Miss Marple.
When our mutual friend Colin was alive, well and living in the Cotswolds, Thömas arrived one day from Germany to find that he had bought a coconut door-mat with the words 'FUCK OFF' on it. Traditionally they would have said 'WELCOME' as the above one does, but we have to move with the times.
Our Morrisons supermarket is selling old-fashioned coconut mats with the words 'IF YOU DON'T DRINK GIN YOU CAN'T COME IN' on them. I am thinking of getting one for our local mosque. They won't notice.
The F O doormat would be ideal for Jehovas Witnesses and the like.
ReplyDeleteIt's a bit rude. I would say, 'Fuck off PLEASE'.
DeleteWe are having a bit of a clean as well ..... I don’t like the way it all snowballs & becomes a marathon but it’s lovely when it’s all done. Have a good time with your mate Thömas. XXXX
ReplyDeleteI am always putting it off.
DeleteMy door mat says, “If you forgot the wine, go home.”
ReplyDelete(Because you're not having ours...)
DeleteThömas is in for a treat!
ReplyDeleteHopefully a very quiet treat.
DeleteYou are a good friend. The cleaning is OK, and devising a new entertainment even better. Have you obtained a second magnet fishing pole, or will you share yours? If you each have one, would opposite sides of the bridge be better, to keep the magnets from attracting each other.
ReplyDeleteThere is only one magnet and I am using it. I may give him a rusty can as a souvenir to take home.
DeleteIs it too late for you to get a mat for your place (in honor of Thömas's arrival) that reads: 'Verpiss Dich'? :D
ReplyDeleteWish Thömas a 'schönen Aufenthalt' from me!
I'll have to translate the first, but I see it contains the word piss so I have an idea.
DeleteIt's basically the German version of 'fuck off'.
DeleteVery good plans all around! When a German comes visiting, they like to have a bit of a ‘Programm’, which they are presented with. Do report back to us about the magnet fishing, please! There could be all kinds of good stuff out there in the water.
ReplyDeleteThe only plan he makes is a walk to Bradford on Avon. It has become tradition.
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