Black Rod who?

Not being able to do any work until tomorrow when it is rumoured to be almost dry after weeks of incessant, heavy rain, I stayed indoors and watched the State Opening of Parliament.

I have always felt a bit sorry for the Queen. Unlike the rest of the government she didn't ask for the job and now she has been forced to read a pre-election party-political speech written by Dominic Cummings.

I suppose it must be comparatively easy to retain a sense of dignity when you are accompanied by troops of Household Cavalry in full ceremonial regalia, heralded with a trumpet fanfare, then have about 500 of the most noble Peers of the Realm perform a low bow as you enter, but even so...

Like Match of the Day or the World Cup coverage, a small group of commentators sat at a semi-circular table in a side room with a Welsh version of Garry Lineker in the middle as chair.

For months - if not years - Laura Keunssberg has been camped-out in Parliament Square, trying to find different ways of saying that nothing is happening each time the camera is turned on her, but now she has something meaningful to impart at last.

When she was asked what she thought of the Queen's speech to Parliament, she made everyone laugh by saying that it was like a speech from a parallel universe; a universe in which Boris Johnson gets his way on every single issue put to the House of Commons, having been re-elected as Prime Minister with an overwhelming majority for a further four years.

This is the first State Opening of the 65 that Queen Elizabeth the Second has attended to date that I have watched all the way through, so I did not previously know that after the monarch has left the House and cadged a lift back to Buckingham Palace in a golden coach with about 200 outriders on horseback; the crown, another hat and the Sword of State have their own coach, cavalry and escorts all the way to the Tower of London where they are kept in a broom cupboard. The tourists must love it.

The great thing about these British Royal pageants and ceremonies is that they inspire such awe that everyone shuts up for a change. Everyone that is except Dennis Skinner, who shouted "NO!" when commanded to attend the Queen in the House of Lords. He does it every time. It's all part of the ritual.

For the first time in the 650 year history of the office, Black Rod is a woman. In terms of ceremonial tradition, this is the sort of change which worries those who are disturbed by minor interruptions to their routine. They didn't ban smoking in the House of Lords bar for this reason. Every ashtray is in exactly the same position as it was when Sir Walter Raleigh introduced us to tobacco.