Purveyor of Bollocks to the Crowned Heads of Europe
Thursday, 11 October 2018
Estimated Time of Arrival
Strange things happen around my workshop when I am not there. Usually it involves some sort of vandalism or attempted break-in. It has been a while since someone has dumped a stolen car there.
The day before yesterday I arrived to find a pile of white feathers in the car-park area. As I looked at it from inside the car, I assumed that it must have been the evidence of a hawk kill on a white dove, but there seemed to be too many feathers for one small bird. Just as I thought that, a Sparrow Hawk flew low over them and perched on a nearby gate. Maybe it was a goose?
I got out of the car and found a larger pile the other side of my entrance. There was no blood or scraps of dead goose - or even swan. The feathers were perfectly clean and all the same size. I looked around for a discarded duvet cover, but there was none.
Later in the day, I spoke to someone who could explain exactly what had happened. He had arrived at 9.30am to find a wealthy-looking woman with a large and expensive 4x4 car with a personalised number plate (K7 ETA), emptying huge bags of feathers on the ground as her dog sniffed around.
He asked her what she was doing, and she mumbled some excuse which put the blame on the dog, then began clearing up the two huge piles as best she could, stuffing them back into the bags. Apparently the piles were enormous. What she left behind in the grass was just the dregs she couldn't pick up.
If anyone has access to Vehicle Licensing records, you may want to alert the authorities that a woman in the Bath area may need professional help - or prosecuting for fly-tipping.