I had a few days out of the slow-cook oven last week, and now today I am back in it again. I know what is going to happen - as soon as I finish the job, it will become cool again.
Yesterday, everyone was pissing me off. It was not all to do with the heat, but closely linked never the less.
We went to a square here which is full of trees, chose the only available bench in the shade and sat on it. Those benches are designed for two people, or - at most - three very good friends or family, but only in the cool weather.
H.I. was trying to work out from where a floral scent was emanating, and thought it might be from a nearby tree. The time for tree blossom is over, so I put forward the theory that the source of the aroma may have been the sun-cream of the fat brown man who was lying on the grass in nothing but shorts, about 30 feet away.
H.I. could stand it no longer and got up to walk the 30 feet to the little tree on our right, to see if it smelled of anything. I turned my head to watch her sniff at it, and when I turned it back a young Chinese man had sat right next to me in the space that H.I. had vacated. I mean RIGHT next to me. We were actually touching.
I was so taken aback that I couldn't find the words to tell him to get out of it and find his own bench. H.I. could not believe that I had allowed him to steal her place.
I am trying very hard not to be racist, but I have to say that it is my experience that - as a generality - the Chinese have a very underdeveloped sense of personal space. Of course it could be that us insular English have an over developed sense of space, from sharing with so many others on a cramped little island with cramped little trolly busses.
I was fuming - mainly with myself for not telling him to eff off - and we stood up to find another unoccupied bench, albeit in dappled sunshine.
I looked over to our bench, to see the young man take his shoes off, stretch his whole body the length of the bench and lie down in the cool.
I began to think in terms of further racial stereotypes, and imagined that he had planned the whole thing from the beginning. Damn cunning sort of thing.
I realised that the heat was getting to my brain when I stopped myself from going over to him and physically turfing him off. I actually found myself wondering if he would respond using Kung Fu.
We went to an outside bar and I cooled off with a cold beer. Much better outcome.
There is an analogy here with blog comments. You leave an innocuous (as you believe) comment on a friend's blog and come back and find it has been joined by somebody, uninvited, who thinks they know exactly what you said and you need to be corrected because you could have said something that could be misconstrued by your fragile blog friend. Your comment is then no longer alone between you and the blogger. It is then joined by another commenter who thinks that she will rub shoulders with the uninvited guest. The seat is then occupied throughout the day by others who think they too can sit next to the first occupant, who is still there, and invade her space in perpetuity and later arrive with supposed knowledge of the first commenter and her second "friend" and decide to impart this to them and those on other seats around. I know how you feel about the bench. You have my sympathy.
ReplyDeleteWell I don't allow it on my blog and I don't understand people who do. I don't mind people having friendly chats with each other, even if I do feel left out of them.
DeleteI ended up being kicked out to make way for a rant.
DeleteThat's all right. I won't kick you out from here for ranting, so get it out of your system. No names please. I am enjoying a well-earned break. Try not to lose your sense of humour, though.
DeleteIt had a surprise ending: I felt more friends with the "friend" than anybody else.
DeleteAnd we sat on the bench together on our own.
DeleteWell it all worked out did it no
DeletePass.
DeletePass too. I don't trust anyone apart from Weave.
DeleteAnd I don't even trust her.
DeleteIf I had been there, when HI got up to sniff the trees I might have been tempted to snuggle up - I imagine you as tall, dark and handsome and I have to get my kicks wherever and whenever I can these days!
ReplyDeleteYou have a vivd imagination, Weave. You got the 'tall' bit right, though.
DeleteNo German towels on all the benches then?
ReplyDeleteI ignore German towels on beaches. I quite often return them to the hotel before breakfast.
DeleteA beer on an outdoor patio sounds much better.
ReplyDeleteYes, but just imagine...
DeleteStealing your bench is the kind of thing Boris would do.
DeleteI sacked Boris.
DeleteUnable to sit on the grass ?
ReplyDeleteFor a man of my standing to sit on the grass in a public space would be unthinkable, even if I could rise to my feet again without the help of my footman.
DeleteI follow with great interest how all of you there in your heat wave are becoming more and more like us...
ReplyDeleteYes, I can see that. I wonder if you would turn Northern European if you had cold rain for 9 months of the year?
DeleteYes, i think we 'll do.
DeleteThat was funny.
ReplyDeleteIt is now.
DeleteThe uncomfortable part is that he was probably watching you and H.I. all the time for that opportunity...so twice uncomfortable!
ReplyDeleteGreetings Maria x
I thin he was a simple opportunist. Like I say, cunning.
DeleteThe image of Tom getting in a fight in a park with a Chinese man who starts using Kung Fu just made my day!
ReplyDeleteYour blog seldom disappoints, my friend. :)
I was worried about losing without a gun.
DeleteI like the fact that you went to sit on a park bench together .... like being teenage and wanting somewhere to sit and canoodle....or was that just me?
ReplyDeleteIt's just you. We wanted shade and a place to sit. That's not saying we don't like sitting together - just in comfort without some Chinese boy cramping the style of our conversation... grrr...
Delete