Thursday 24 November 2016

Piddlingbourne 376

Have Google change the layout of your dashboard too? I'm having a hard enough job navigating the iPhone, and now this. Just as you get used to technology, they improve it and you have to start all over again. Oh well, I suppose we would not have all the gadgets without teams of geeks improving things.

This sort of sums it up for me: I still find the old bell-tone ring on modern phones amusing and entertaining. The idea of a little moblie having two huge bells on it tinkling away makes me smile, so I always have chosen that ringtone since it was available.

The only thing I don't like is that the bell ringtone on all phones is the American one - a single ring with intervals, with the bells tuned in a very specific way, just as all of us Brits have become used to from American movies since we were kids.

You know the scene - it is 3.00 in the morning and a detective is getting some well-earned sleep in a hotel room with a recently ravished woman lying beside him, when that ringtone goes off. His hand comes out from under the covers and begins fumbling for the handset, almost knocking it off the cradle.

He raises himself on one elbow and puts the receiver to his ear, simply saying his last name in a bleary, sleepy voice, then he suddenly wakes up, waking the ravished woman at the same time.

"Ok, I'll be there in 10." He does not say 'hello' and he does not say 'goodbye'. He does not even say 'minutes'. He replaces the phone and leaps out of bed, pulling on his trousers (both of them) and says to the woman, "I have to go/ there's been another murder/ they have found a body/ etc. etc."

The woman groans, and murmers, "Oh come back to bed, it's late..." but he scoots out of the door and is wide awake at the murder scene by the time it has cut to the next scene.

Well the English double bell ringtone sounds completely different. The pitch of the bells are different, but also the entire Bakelite set can be heard vibrating against the hallway table where the phone has been inconveniently situated to prevent people from running-up bills by actually using it.

You know the scene - It is three in the afternoon and the phone is heard ringing in the hallway by the lady of the house, who is entertaining a neighbour to afternoon tea. DRING-DRING! DRING-DRING! DRING-DRING!

"Would you excuse me?" is the polite rhetoric, and she makes her stately way to the hall and picks up the huge, black handset.

"Hello. Piddlingbourne 376. No, I am afraid he is not at home at the moment. May I take a message for him? Yes, I will be sure to let him know. Goodbye."

Well I have found one of these English ringtones as a download. All I have to do now is get it from the net to my iPhone...

36 comments:

  1. Yes, Blogger looks different now. Concerning ring tones, I grew up "in the country" and we had what was known as a party line. That meant that we could pick up the phone and hear some of our neighbours' phone conversations. Because about five families shared a line, we all had different rings so we knew if the phone was ringing for us, or for someone else on the party line. Our ring was one long and two shorts. -Jenn

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    1. As a kid, I remember 'crossed lines' and I would silently listen to neighbour's conversations until I was discovered. We would have to ask an operator to dial the number for us, then hope she didn't listen in. I bet she did...

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    2. Does that mean that you really did look at all my text messages and photos ?!!!!!! XXXX

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    3. No, but if I was to accidentally eavesdrop on your conversations I might have difficulty stopping...

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  2. Ringtones haunt me since seeing the film Midnight Lace with Doris Day and Black Christmas with Olivia Hussey.
    Greetings Maria x

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    1. Yes, they are a good audio effect for spookiness... in an empty house... on and on...

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  3. We've been having some odd calls recently. I lift the hand set, no-one speaks, I shout at it, swear at it, then a female voice eventually says 'goodbye' in a rather mechanical fashion. Gawd knows what's going on.

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    1. That is a computer generated scam call. The computer dials your phone and if there isn't an Indian available to rip you off (or attempt to) some of them sign off like that. More often than not, the line just goes dead.

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    2. We used to get those calls. We are dispensing with our landline because we only seem to get scammers/cold callers phoning anyway. A really annoying call starts ( and it is a recording so I can't tell them what I think!) with " as winter is upon us" or words to that effect. It carried on all through the very hot summer this year.

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    3. Even more annoying! Being a previously hacked Talk Talk customer, I get many calls from would-be Indian criminals. I got so fed up with one that I said to him, "I don't want to be rude to you, but I know you don't work for Talk Talk, so don't call me again."

      He said, "Yes I do." So I said, "Just fuck off." He replied with, "No, you fuck off. Go on, fuck off!"

      That actually made me laugh.

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  4. Try a right click and the ring tone just might transfer like magic - but then again it mightnot That is just my answer to everything and if it doesn't work I just switch off the computer and forget about it.

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    1. If only it were that simple, Weave. I usually spend an hour on it before switching off the computer and forgetting about it.

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  5. My dashboard has shifted everything round too. I prefer the old version. I prefer the old ring of the old phones as well and had forgotten about crossed lines. There is much less room for humour when things work they way they're meant to.

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    1. I always like the idea of a 'party line' when I was a kid. I imagined that if you got lonely, there was always a party going on at the end of the line, day or night.

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  6. I would say you have too much time on your hands, but perhaps that is preferable, and even deserved. Better than on your foot. I hope someone finds a way to give us back a workable dashboard.

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    1. I would say you are right, but I'm not sure if it is deserved.

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  7. Tom, you are a very amusing man.

    I still have my old phone that is a soft white version of the one in your photograph. It's in the back of a closet, because I cannot bear to dispose of it.

    Yes, when I was creating my new blog post yesterday I discovered all those blogger changes. I was at first dumbfounded, but was determined to get the new post done, so just clicked and muttered and got it done.

    There are all sorts of features now that seem to me to be attuned to folks who use their blogs for commercial purposes. Now I can see what sorts of information (or some of it) is being gathered.

    When I make calls to the UK, I've always enjoyed hearing the distinctive ring tone.

    Best wishes.

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    1. That old phone is worth money, but not a huge amount. The new system on the blog isn't so bad once you find what hoops they want you to jump through.

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  8. I keep a whistle next to our house phone for use on nuisance calls, one short blast is a good deterrent.
    My mobile plays the Death March for incoming calls, it makes the folk nearby smile.

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    1. I am glad you are amusing yourself and others around you in your dotage.

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    2. Not too far off yourself are you. How is the poorly foot?

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    3. Not so poorly as it couldn't land a smart contact with your arse.

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    4. I suppose that your aggressive nature is part of your physical condition.

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    5. No, it's just that you bring out the best in me, Heron.

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  9. I see that Rachel has removed her blog again, have you annoyed her ?

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    1. You are the expert in that particular field are you not? The rest of us amateurs annoy her on a daily basis.

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    2. I think she has got lost in the new system. I can't find her either.

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  10. This post did make me smile Tom and I had a telephone just like the one in the picture in our first house. Your description of the american movie scene was spot on! My dashboard is different too and I'm not quite so ok about it as you seem to be, although I will have to just get on with it. How is the foot?

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    1. Oh, the foot has blended in with everything else now, thank you. I hardly notice any of it if it all happens at the same time. Such a blessing.

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  11. Blogger has some balls, messing with what works. I have a good mind to stop paying them.

    Now ringtones, I love the Irish ones so much whenever I visit there I just call all the numbers I can. DRING-DRING, DRING-DRING. I love it.

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    1. Sounds the same as the English one to me. And the Scottish... and the Welsh...

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  12. My blogger interface has also reconfigured itself. It took me a hot minute to figure out where all the blogs I follow were hiding. -seems a bit less 'user friendly'.

    When lived in the UK everytime my phone rang I thought of Pink Floyd The Wall. It's sort of how hearing French ambulances make me think of Inspector Clouseau.

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    1. Yes, you have to go to the reader list now, which isn't so bad when you know. I can't find Rachel's though.

      You have reminded me of the unanswered phone in The Wall.

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  13. Our ring is like the English one. I wonder if the association with those movies, (not to mention the soap opera zoom in while the glossy lipped blonde stands with her lips slightly parted not answering it in case it is Brad with Terrible News)is why the America ring sounds so very sinister compared to our chirpy double ring?

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    1. When making calls overseas was so expensive, if I accidentally called someone who I didn't know was on holiday somewhere, I slammed down the phone if I heard that ominous tone. The biggest phone bill I ever had was from calling H.I. every night from Florida, where I was working. When I went to pay it, they ran out of paper on the print out, but I still ended up with about 10 feet of bill. It was about $800. I still remember that voice, "Thank you for using AT&T. How are you this evening, Tom?"

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