Purveyor of Bollocks to the Crowned Heads of Europe
Thursday, 15 September 2016
Yesterday, I used my old person's Wednesday discount at B & Q and bought my first Workmate (this is a sort of bench/vice for DIYers for those who do not know.)
With the discount, it came to about £22 which is all I really wanted to pay for something I am going to bastardise for one job only, and I did not pay for the next one up at £70, for these reasons.
It was flat-packed and I took it back for assembly. Three hours later after much swearing and scrutiny of inscrutable Chinese illustrated instructions, it remains in peices at my workshop where I left it to go to the pub. I will never laugh at Cro and his flat-packing experiences again.
I quite often buy old vacuum cleaners at charity shops for about £5 (I bought one recently to clean the car), because the people who give them away do not have a compressor to blow it out and make it work properly. The one I bought last week was a designated 'Pet' one, whatever that means.
It was such a bad design that one vital component could not be taken apart to clean, and I spent about three hours manually pulling stuff out of tiny, conical holes where it had gathered. An observer remarked that I had made its £5 cost meaningless, but I said this would be the case only if time is money to you, which it has never been to me. The poor always pay more for everything in the long run.
This same person spent about a week making a luggage holder for the roof of his car, using sheet aluminium on a steel frame. The cost of the materials and the time it took to make made the price of one bought in a shop (which would not let in water as his does) seem very inexpensive. As inexpensive as Trump's walls, but not as great, beautiful, powerful and fantastic.