Purveyor of Bollocks to the Crowned Heads of Europe
Thursday, 18 February 2016
Welcome to England
This morning, it was Robert Hooke's turn for an airing - he has waited 300 years for Melvyn bloody Bragg to give it, though you would think he was still alive from the way the historians continually refer (ed) to him in the present tense.
Now, what do you think? Should Britain remain in the E.U. or should we pull up the drawbridge? The economic carve-up will continue as normal whatever happens, now that we have handed our economies over to the global psychopaths.
Our Prime Minister is currently in Brussels, trying to gain little concessions such as not being forced to give child maintenance to parents whose children live in a different country, and the only opposition he is likely to get about this is from the countries who receive the money, not hand it out.
The 27 other countries are waiting to see what he can squeeze out of the deal, then they will all clamour for the same concessions, whether or not they need or deserve them. Nobody wants to look like a loser to their electorate.
The talks are predicted to be over by the time everyone has eaten a Full English Breakfast, not your namby-pamby Continental one consisting of a croissant, a bit of jam and a cup of coffee. Cameron has insisted that this breakfast must include Black Pudding, but Brussels are still discussing if this is permissible within current E.U. legislation. I predict that they will compromise by allowing Black Pudding made from neutrally Danish pigs. We've still got our £ and Denmark still has its Kroner.
Following these show-case media talks, us poor Brits will spend the next few months having the pants scared off us by both sides in the run-up to the Referendum. If we opt to leave, France will no longer hold 1000s of migrants at Calais, but will give them all train tickets to Kent, thereby saving themselves loads of money.
If we opt to stay, we will be forced to accept as many as can make it through Macedonia - possibly divided by 28, but this will not become clear until the end of the talks. Turkey is - at present - holding back about half a million by setting up camps just the other side of the Syrian border, but it could not do that if it had been granted membership of the E.U. when it first asked for it. Neither could it have used the excuse of anti-terrorism to shell thousands of ethnic Kurds, whose traditional borders spread - like a Caliphate - across about four national ones.
Whether we stay in or leave, it will not make too much difference to anything of real economic importance, because we sold all our assets to other E.U. members years ago, and now subsist on tourism.