Purveyor of Bollocks to the Crowned Heads of Europe
Saturday, 13 February 2016
Chair pulled out from under me
All (or almost all) of my new operating system's teething problems have now been sorted, and I am finally pleased that I did not throw the old iMac away and buy a new one.
The reason that it took me so long - 3.5 solid days - is that I am no expert, but I am beginning to turn into one. For instance, I can now tell you that if your internal mailbox refuses to recognise your password when it is correctly entered, all you need to do is go deep into the depths of the machine via a series of portals which eventually lead to a list of security preference options, one of which is a tiny little box marked, 'Allow insecure permissions'.
This may seem like a rash thing to do which could result in all sorts of criminals to access your accounts, but if you don't tick it, you will never receive any emails again. Ever. Just this one bit of hard-earned information may have saved you two days of stroke-inducing stress. It may even save your marriage.
There is one feature of the old system which does not work, however, and this is the brilliant 'Front Row', which allowed you to use the iMac as a complete media centre, controlled with a little infra-red remote. Stick a DVD in, and the screen went black as if the curtain was about to go up, and you could control everything from your armchair. Apple have decided to give up on this great feature, and it hasn't been supported by any of the later operating systems for 7 years - not that I knew this until yesterday.
I searched in vain for the red armchair icon (above) to start up Front Row, but it was not anywhere - and I looked everywhere. It had gone. So I decided to see if I could reinstall it from a net download, but - in the way that men will assemble a flat-pack bit of furniture from IKEA and only consult the instruction manual after they have tried (and failed) to put the thing together - I only discovered that the new O.S. would not run it anyway, and this was by consulting the forums where other frustrated people were asking questions and venting their frustration. You can find out absolutely anything from the net - so long as you are connected to it. That may have saved you another day.
Added to this, were a couple of unconnected and entirely coincidental issues with my server, which I mistook for teething problems with the new system.
There were some things which I was blaming my email server for which turned out not to be their fault, but the only way I could talk to them was either by a live chat session, or my mobile phone. If I was halfway through something online and someone called the landline, our internet connection cut out. It still does, even though the server says it is being seen to. This resulted in a £12 charge for a 15 minute conversation with the server, who was trying to help me sort another problem out. Anyway, I can feel my blood-pressure rising just thinking about it. "Why don't you use your free landline?" she asked. "Because it cuts me off!"
I ticked that little box, then 25 emails came flooding in with the old familiar ping. Maybe I can relax in the wind and rain this weekend...