Sunday 20 December 2015

141 and counting...


Ooh look. I've lost three more followers. I'm on a roll. I wonder who they were.

I don't really blame them. I am sick of the sound of my own voice at the moment which is why I haven't put anything up for a couple of days (apart from those dogs, which I have now put down, so to speak).

I am in a strange position right now. Of all the people who I see on a daily basis, half of them either don't mind me or like me (difficult to say which), and the other half hate my guts. This is because I usually say what I think about something, but I like to think that I express approval about things that I like as well, and the half that hate me probably think that I am conceited if I think that anyone cares at all about the things that I like. I think that I don't do enough of this - it is far easier to say what you don't like than what you do. It is a myth that it takes more muscles to frown than it does to smile.

The confusingly warm weather here is making it difficult to get into the spirit of Christmas - how can you when there are daffodils coming up? - but that doesn't stop loads of drunk young men from pissing in the street rather than the pubs where they got drunk in the first place.

I went to post some cards at the main post office last night at around 6.30, and found a group of about 15 young men urinating against the pillar boxes. I shouted at them, then went to post the cards. Royal Mail had taped-up the letter slots, so I couldn't post them. The young men found this hilarious, so I started screaming obscenities at them, fearless about being attacked. Another catastrophic loss of humour.

Why would Royal Mail tape-up a letter box at Christmas? What is going on?!


Let's see who finds this offensive and stops following. I think it's cute.

58 comments:

  1. I've just read that even John is losing followers. Hmm. suspicious. Must be a Google conspiracy...

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  2. That's the way it is if you speak your mind. It happens to me. People do change sides though from time to time. One manager at work used to hate me when she first met me but now she comes to me for advice and shares things with me that she doesn't tell anyone else. It is the same on blog land but I don't think people ever change sides once their minds are made up, except us two perhaps. The baby Jesus is funny.

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    1. Over the years, I have come to the conclusion that it helps if one gets stinking drunk before speaking one's mind.

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  3. The baby Jesus cartoon is cute. No sign of whether this was pre or post circumcision. There. Just proving I'm not afraid of words either! Unfollowing in anger is rather passive-aggressive, don't you think?

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    1. Well if someone pisses you off, why follow them?

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  4. I like the baby Jesus and think it's funny, but then, I own a Christmas ornament with a picture of a smirking baby Jesus, halo askew, that says, "Happy Birthday baby Jesus! Please don't send us to hell!" Haha!

    It seems everyone is losing followers in the last couple of days. Blogger might be disposing of inactive accounts right now, at least that's my theory.

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    1. That's a good theory. I used to like those t-shirts with, 'Look busy - Jesus is coming' written on them.

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  5. Hilarious and Merry Christmas Tom

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  6. I lost a follower this past week when I could not stop myself posting about the short sighted people in town. Some local, I suppose.
    Why the hell were the mail slots taped up? Probably to stop youth from peeing in them. Young men and women are created to be rude; it's a chromosome not shed until they become citizens with property of their own to protect. Good grief, now you have me going on.
    That Father Christmas markedly resembles a youthful you. Did you have a friend do it?
    And, baby Jesus is funny.

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    1. Agreed, but I think there has always been youth pissing in the streets. I chose a blue Santa because - as I am sure you know - the red one was invented by Coca Cola, and I hate the way that them and Disney hi-jack everyone's childhood.

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  7. You've only lost 3 !!!! I've lost over 100 !!!! I was well on the way th 2,000 followers and now it's all gone pear-shaped !!
    ..... and, maybe this is why it's good to have ' virtual, blogging friend's ' ..... we're all too far away from each other for it to matter if we fall out now and again !!
    We all love you Tom. XXXX

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    1. I think Jennifer has a good theory - see above. The trouble is I am always falling out with people I actually meet every day. Oh well.

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  8. I lost one and gained one and I have 't even done my Christmas card post yet.

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  9. I've lost 8 - I think everyone is at the moment. So you'll have to be nastier if you want to do better in the losing followers race

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    1. Nastier? I hope I never lose all my inhibitions.

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  10. I gained a follower and have no losses.

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    1. I am having a lovely Sunday afternoon, "whoever I am"!

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    2. Well it cannot be anything to do with swearing at people then. I am amazed how everyone comes back for more of the same.

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  11. I am relieved to find that 141 and counting does not refer to your age, even if you do feel it sometimes.

    Could the young men's behavious and the taping of the post box be connected do you think?

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    1. I don't think they could reach that high, Weave.

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  12. I lost one who left because of mia more trolling his blog and gain one this week. I am so embarrassed when a new follower comes because of my bad and shallow English,so i prefer to have less than more, but it makes me very happy to see new followers,i just want to appologize every time i post or comment.

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    1. Your English isn't bad or shallow, Yael. Anyway, it's a hell of a lot better than my Hebrew. You have nothing to apologise about!

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  13. Not sure about the baby Jesus's buttocks, but then again I never was.

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  14. Merry Christmas to you and your family.

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  15. "The Mystery Of The Vanishing Elephant", "The Curious Case of the Vanishing Villain" - those are solved, but even Sherlock Holmes might not be able to explain "The Mystery of the Vanishing Follower" (especially those who on Google pop up, and go, and never say a word. (As you on my posts, but that "en passant")
    I had sketched my next post on my new blog already - about the smile&frown theme - now I have to rewrite it. A bit.
    I don't think you are vain. Straight-lined with a soft heart, and a very sharp eye for humour.
    And are you sure that it was Royal Mail that taped the letterbox - and not those laughing young men?

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    1. They didn't look capable of taping up the boxes, and it was in parcel tape... I have a soft brain sometimes too!

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  16. Hi Tom, I have been following and reading for some time but have not commented. I think the cartoon is hysterical. I am known for buying t shirts for the men in my family with funny comments and cartoons. I like your humour.

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    1. Thanks, Leisha, I will replay to all tomorrow, but I appreciate your t-shirt humour.

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  17. I think there is somehing wrong with the blog site..i lost 12 followers in one night...even a record for you

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    1. See Jennifer's theory above. It seems the amount we lose is proportionate to the ones we started with, so it would make sense.

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  18. SNAP; I just lost 3 too. It's all that good-bloody-will about.

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    1. Ah, now that I can understand. There is only so much food one can eat in a single sitting.

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  19. I have never managed to be a " follower'. I assume that you have to click on " join this site" and follow the instructions, but it doesn't seem to work for me. Any instructions please in words of one syllable ( that would be words of FEWER than two syllables I believe!!)

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    1. Nicely put. I think that Google maybe - almost definitely - trying to get us all to use Google+, so they can create a network which they can exploit for profit in the future. You have to go right back to the page design to add a follower's button.

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  20. I'll never leave you. But I wish you would write something of interest.

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    1. Groucho! How lovely to hear from you again. I thought you were long dead. Tell me what you want to write, and I will prostitute myself to your every wish.

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    2. Sorry, I meant what you want ME to write. I'm not interested in fucking roses. X

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    3. Be nice John. He's a Raspberry, don't forget.

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  21. I have no theory about losing followers but I believe the post box was taped up because it it was full to the brim.

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  22. I thought your post was very strange. Then realised I was reading you and not Going Gently. Many years ago, as a leaving present. I was given a nice porcelain Jesus, He was all bearded and eyes humbled and wearing robes. I thought it odd as I am not known for my religious beliefs. However on taking him out of the sturdy box and packaging and turning it around it was a cock with foreskin. Now that could be taken as offensive. Especially as I am female!

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  23. Yes.but I did work in an all male environment and gave as good as I got ( in those days it was just funny and mean) nowadays I do get the wrongness of Yiddish humour

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  24. Sorry that should read laddish

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  25. Sorry that should read laddish

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  26. please do it yourself.. type laddish autocorrect changes it. Gosh this started as a funny but slightly risque riposte. Now I am concerned that someone might think I am a troll. Honestly it was a genuine autocorrect typo.

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  27. please do it yourself.. type laddish autocorrect changes it. Gosh this started as a funny but slightly risque riposte. Now I am concerned that someone might think I am a troll. Honestly it was a genuine autocorrect typo.

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  28. I lost two followers this week. S'pose they got fed up. I don't care, I still like me.

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