Monday 5 October 2015

Work Ethic, RIP


It's like back-to-school weather right now after the golden Autumn, but we are lucky not to be experiencing the South Carolina event - yes, stop moaning, Cro. At least the water rose slowly on the Somerset Levels.

We are off to see Frank Auerbach's retrospective at The Tate on Thursday. I hope H.I. doesn't make the same faux pas as she did last time - not as much as her though!:

Frank: "Jackie, how are you?"

H.I.: "I'm fine, how are you? I love your new drawings in the room next door".

Frank: "Thank you, but they are not mine". (At this point, a large hole fails to open up and swallow her whole).

Just to get his own back, Frank pretends that he doesn't know that H.I. has been divorced from her husband for many years now, and wonders who the hell I am. The invitation came addressed to her ex as well, so maybe I will just have to pretend to be him again, and ignore the Waddington's security as they get me in an arm-lock. Could be an ugly scene.

I was talking to some Bath gallery owners the other day, and they inevitably asked me if I was an artist like her. I said that I was a sculptor, but not a fine-artist. They asked what the difference was, so I explained. Basically, a traditional sculptor does not necessarily produce fine art, I said, and they asked what the difference was again.

When I elaborated by saying that none of the stuff I did ever found its way into a modern gallery, they asked why not - again.

"Because I would only have to deal with people like you, who have it all stitched-up as you have done for over 100 years". Only then did they know what I was talking about. Anyway, there are almost as many frustrated fine-artists as there are frustrated writers, and most of them are architects.

There is one aspect to modern art which I really like though, and that is the acceptability of delegation. It is a shame it is not universally accepted, though.

A friend of mine who is about my age and ought to know better, asked who it was, precisely, who made the bell which hangs on the front of the pub in yesterday's video. I said, 'me'.

He said that he understood that it was my glamorous, highly talented (but fucking unreliable) assistant, and I said that he played a major role in its construction, using my research into its final shape, the external moulds I made and the construction of the plaster skimmer to those moulds with which to make it.

"So you didn't actually make the resin thing, then?"

"No, I didn't. And neither did Rodin carve all those marble sculptures, either!" was my testy response.

Some people just cannot rid themselves of their youthful and time-consuming work-ethic. I want to be a consultant when I grow up.

12 comments:

  1. Bridget Riley doesn't do any of her patterns either, she did one and got a headache. Damian Hirst had an exhibition of paintings at White Cube and an assistant did them all. That really is taking the Mick. I do all mine myself.

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    1. Now that Warhol is dead, I suppose you have to.

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  2. A friend of mine re-did a work by the Chapman Bros that was destroyed in a fire. and my mate Dave Mills used to paint most of Bridget Riley's work. No-one seems fussed.

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    1. I bet they were more fussed with the content - penises for the noses off pre-pubescent children, etc.

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  3. I was rather hoping I was going to learn something about bells when I saw your Photo. Like you I know that many works by well-known artists are not by them - I guess you don't have to sweat for your craft once you have "made it"or maybe some people become so predictable that all know what the next work will look like.
    ANYWAY, back to the bell and completely off subject. Do you know how to clean bitumen from a bronze (Taylors) bell?

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    1. Just realised how random that looks but hey ho.

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    2. You don't have to make it to make it.

      Re the bitumen, it depends how hard it is. If it is hard, begin with heat to melt it, then finish off with a solvent. If not, go straight in with the solvent. White spirit, meths or acetone will do it. Acetone gets through almost anything.

      The you will need to either polish it or re-patinate it. the first is easy. The second is not.

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  4. In what way do these things differ from the much more mundane idea that we all use recipes which others have concocted and call the creations our own work.

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    1. We didn't know the dancer Pavlova, that's all.

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  5. I write scientific reports, and yet when they are published, my name doesn't appear, but the client's does. At least it's a collaborative effort for the most part.

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    1. In that case, punish the client by including false information, then let them take the credit.

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    2. They do that easily enough without my help. I've had more than one "just make a few minor corrections" and then have to add an errata page.

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