Saturday, 9 May 2015

Thou shalt not, as it happens


Sorry to mention the General Election again, but what has happened is truly gob-smacking and seismic (to use another cliche).

Overnight, the two other remaining political parties have been destroyed (or have destroyed themselves) and in a few weeks time, the Scots will be calling the tunes, using London as a base.

Everyone has been saying that our first past the post system is bankrupt, but can you imagine what it would be like with proportional representation? Nigel Farage wouldn't have committed Hari Kiri for a start.

It's too late now, but if Margaret Thatcher hadn't destroyed the Civil Service, they could have been put to good use in training the 56 newcomers to Westminster (some of whom have probably never set foot outside Scotland), as they all arrive at Paddington Station with labels round their necks asking to be taken there, plus also advising the Queen to have nothing more to do with David Cameron ever again.

Paddy Ashdown has to eat his hat in public, and Ed Milliband is wondering what to do with the bloody great monolith he had made with his manifesto carved on it in biblical style. Auction it, if you have the balls, Ed.

21 comments:

  1. If they are arriving in Paddington Station from Scotland they will have used a strangely circuitous route. I am sure Nicola will issue them with a map before the big day though so this can be avoided. We are going to need even more help than I thought. God help us.

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    1. They are all going to meet up in the High Street.

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    2. And take the High Road on the way back.

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    3. Did you mean: 'Tak the high rood'?

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  2. Replies
    1. Won't they all have ministerial cars?

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  3. I love the image of the SNP lot gathered with Nicola at the Forth Bridge like Elizabeth the first at Tilbury.

    I cried on Friday morning.

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    1. YOU cried on Friday morning? Spare a thought for poor old Farage, Milliband and whatever the bloke from the Lib Dems used to be called.

      I know they had the bodies of feeble women, but they hand the hearts of ruthless politicians!

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  4. I was and am absolutely delighted with the SNP achievement, looking forward in seeing what else they manage to do with their time in Westminster.
    Good also to see UKIP getting a kick up the backside plus that dreadful labour man whats-his-name. Pity about Clegg being so weak in the knees, never mind that's politics where even a day can make a difference hey ho!

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    1. I think you need written permission from John Gray's solicitors before you are allowed to wantonly say, 'Hey Ho'.

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    2. Fucking too right!
      Get your hands off hey ho
      You bitch

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    3. Oh sweetie pie whatever do you mean xx

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  5. That was the most interesting and entertaining post-election broadcasting I have ever heard.

    Such fun!


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  6. Go to your constituencies, and prepare to eat 'egg on face'. Now all we need are the Scots to vote YES in a second referendum, and England's future will be secured.

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    1. Very true. When I look at what happened immediately after the break-up of other national conglomerates, then I fear a war between Cornwall and Devon is just around the corner.

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  7. Presumably they will arrive in London to a fanfare or should that be a skirl of bagpipes.

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    1. Is it a 'skirl' of bagpipes? I've never heard that one before, Weave. I like to imagine a leather-clad and kilted rabble lead by a Bruce. Funnily enough, it was a Bruce who was one to lose his seat up there, Not so surprisingly, a Campbell lost one too.

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