Purveyor of Bollocks to the Crowned Heads of Europe
Tuesday, 21 April 2015
Since when has 81 been a mile-stone?
Here in the UK, the Google logo depicts a bunch of aliens manning an underwater, mechanical Nessie, using bicycle technology to turn the propellor. Hold the cursor over it and it says, "81 years of searching for the Loch Ness monster."
Beneath that, there is an invitation to explore Loch Ness using underwater Goggle Street View, and a link to take you there. I didn't even know such a thing existed.
So I clicked on the link and pretty soon the start-point appeared on the screen, with Urquhart Castle on the nearby shore, and half of the camera lens underwater.
It works the same way as ordinary Street View, with arrows for up, down, left, right, and plus and minus for zoom. I turned the camera downward.
I didn't bother to walk the 23 miles of Loch Ness - a few feet told me that all you can see is impenetrable brown-green darkness which, funnily enough, is just how I imagined it.
This Nessie business has been saturated with humour since the very first time the monster was/was not spotted.
On the subject of things which we all know to be either true or false - or both - on which a lot of money has been spent to scientifically verify the facts, two bits of clinical research have been published today.
The first is that it is not possible to become fat without eating too much. Yes, believe it or not, this is true.
Some scientists became so fed-up with fat people going to their doctors and lying to them about not eating, that they locked them in a room and fed half of them what they needed to stay alive, and the other half what they needed to keep the other half alive as well. The scientists couldn't bring themselves to believe that these fat people - like plants - photo synthesised, and by golly they were right.
The other astounding fact is that - wait for it - babies feel pain.
For about 80 years - about the same time as they have been searching for the Loch Ness monster - everyone pretended to believe the callous doctors when they told the distraught mothers that the procedure they were about to perform on their children did not need anaesthetic.
Well now, due to very unsophisticated experiments which involve torturing babies and wiring them up to monitors (because the babies cannot yet tell them how painful it is), they now know that pain is very real for them after all. I wonder how much money this cost?