Wednesday, 11 March 2015

True or False?

Belgian drivers are the worst in Europe.

Switzerland comprises of nothing but chocolate manufacturers and bankers.

Germans have no sense of humour and are excellent chefs.

Italians make fine civil engineers.

The Dutch hate cheese and only drink German beer.

The Scots are mean.

Yorkshire people are mean, wear cloth-caps and keep whippets.

Surrey people are mean but rich, unlike Yorkshire people who are just mean.

Chinese people will eat anything and are inscrutable.

Somerset people all drink cider.

Devon people eat all the apples before they can make them into cider.

Nobody knows what Cumbrian people are like.

Cornish builders are the worst in Europe.

French builders are the second worst in Europe.

It's grim up North.

The most beautiful bridge in the world is just outside Chewton Mendip.

Norfolk people have webbed feet.

Prince Phillip is renowned for his diplomatic skills.

There's no smoke without fire.

Jeremy Clarkson is a dim-witted buffoon.

36 comments:

  1. There's a few trick ones in there, so be careful.

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  2. Just about sums up the world

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    1. Not quite - I didn't mention the Irish.

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  3. Hitler's failed to make it onto the Vatican's Index librorum prohibitorum, whereas Jonathan Swift, Emile Zola and Henri Bergson did manage to get themselves 'honoured'.
    Slovenians are terrible drivers.

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    1. I have driven right across Slovenia and Belgium, and I can tell you that - in my experience - the Slovenians are better.

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  4. I accidentally deleted book. You know the one.

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    1. Henning Weg's biography is also called 'My Struggle'. That puts paid to the notion that Germans have no sense of humour.

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    2. Autobiography, I meant. Nothing to do with autobahns.

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    3. A German comedian called Henning Wehn has moved to England.

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  5. It's grand as 'owt up North.

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  6. Yorkshire people don't keep shippers, Co Durham people do. Norfolk people have six toes as you have reminded me in the pasted and not webbed feet and Jeremy Clarkson is not what you said but the BBC is and his suspension is a left wing conspiracy to get rid of him before the election.

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    1. Or even whippets and I am not even using the bloody iPad and I am not pasted at least at the moment.

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    2. Left wing conspiracy at the BBC, eh? How many times have I heard that - usually from Thatcherites. Mind you, they are giving Farage a bit of a rough time at the moment, and it is the Conservatives who dish out the licence fees.

      My mother's family were from Durham, but they were landed gentry, so probably kept Spaniels, not Shippers.

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    3. Think what you like, keep your head in the sand if you want to, doesn't bother me.

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  7. Um. Interesting post. I suspect clarkson will immediately get deluged with job offers. Do you?

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    1. Do I get deluged with job offers? Not to test-drive Ferraris, no.

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  8. Jeremy Clarkson is an arrogant, dim witted buffoon.

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    1. Rumour has it that he struck out at the producer because he was given soup at a hotel, and not the steak and chips he really wanted.

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    2. I doubt he would argue with that; they were so pissed they can't remember anyway.

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  9. I agree about French builders... I'm still contemplating the rest.

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  10. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  11. Having read your list. So from the top I can give an alternative Yes and No down through the end.

    What is my prize ?

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  12. Sorry I wanted to write 'down through to the end' am a bit intoxicated by the unusual sunshine at the moment.

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    1. Well you were wrong after the third, so there is no prize for you. I didn't bother to check the rest.

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  13. At one time Northallerton (in North Yorkshire) was one of the riches boroughs in the country Tom - I think you could add to your list Yorkshire folk play their cards close to their chests.

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    1. Is that what the Scots call, 'canny'?

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  14. I thought I was getting an education then re-read your post title.

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  15. CH is also filled with cheese and ex-pats.

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    1. Someone said that living in Switzerland was like being trapped in a bank with a nation of hand-wash fetishists. True or False?

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    2. I worked in food service and can attest to the fact that hand-washing was a sad rarity.

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  16. ...........and all the people in Wigan are pie eaters - including me.

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    1. Not all of them, I hope (all the pies, I meant... never mind).

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