Saturday, 7 February 2015

My name is Tom and I am a Cumberbitch


Before I begin, let me tell you that this is a real admission from me, so if anyone takes the piss, I will come round and punch their head in.

Benedict Cumberbatch has been filming the latest series of 'Sherlock' in Bath recently, and I had an embarrassing dream last night which I am going to share with you.

In my dream, Benedict (yes, we were on first name terms) was sitting at a cafe table with me, and he introduced himself by saying, "You're Tom aren't you?"  I wondered how he knew my name.

I turned into a fluttery schoolgirl and stuttered some acknowledgement, and after a brief chat, he got on his bicycle and rode off, overcoat flapping in the breeze.

If ANY of you cunts accuse me of being gay or obsessed, I will come to your house and rip any exposed parts away from your bodies with less compunction than Islamic State.

Give me a break, for Christ's sake.

20 comments:

  1. I wish I'd been with you in your dream.I can admit that I LOVE him …. we have just watched him in an old episode of ' Miss Marple ' and he is brilliant in ' The Imitation Game ' and, of course ' Sherlock '.
    Tom and Benedict sitting in a tree
    K-I-S-S-I-N-G !!! Oooops …. Sorry !!XXXX

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    1. Right. I know where you live. I'm sending John round.

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    2. Noooooo …. not John, anyone but John !! XXXX

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    3. My reaction too, John. I don't know.

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    4. It's what people say ……. you were sending John round to rip away any exposed parts of my body and the saying goes ….. '' not him, anyone but him '' …...do you get it ? …. it's a saying from a film ….
      Oh, forget it … I'd have to be face to face to explain it !! XXXX

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  2. Well Tom, if you WERE gay, and this was your first male crush, you could do worse!!

    I sure wish I could have dreams about hot celebrities (of either sex) instead of the mostly mundane nonsense that my brain comes up with!

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    1. At my age, it would be my first crush, even if it were a gay one.

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  3. I love the fact that Benedict was riding a bicycle in your dream Perfect! I wish I'd been there. My dreams are so boring.

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    1. What, you dream of ordinary, non-famous people?

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  4. There was a dancer called Wanda Ventham in that show I worked on (Sandy Powell etc). Mr C's mother is Wanda Ventham, but somehow the ages of the two Wandas don't fit. Surely there can't be two Wanda Venthams?

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    1. I know the woman who plays his mother is his real mother, as is his father. Must be the same one - she looks about 70 something?

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  5. I remember Wanda Ventham from the Lotus Eaters

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  6. How I wish I had a degree in Dream Analysis.

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    1. I don't think you need one for this dream - it's just teenage star-struckedness. I think I was brave to even mention it.

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  7. I am the cunt who pisses you off. Dreams are a joy and a deviation in life. Enjoy them.

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