Tuesday, 9 December 2014

Sprint into the abyss

I just looked out of the window to see an old, overweight and very unsporty-looking man hobbling along in a pair of bright white trainers.

Yesterday, I awoke before dawn thinking I had cold feet, but when I reached down to warm them up (yes, I can still just about reach) I found they were not cold, but just numb.

A little later, I told H.I. about the loss of feeling in my toes, and she just said, "Diabetes."

The look of horror on my face must have betrayed the anxiety which she dropped on me with that one word, because she immediately tried to reassure me by saying two more - "Don't worry."

DON'T WORRY?! She plants a seed like that in my head before I have had any coffee, and she expects me not to worry?

Later still, I furtively consulted some online doctors by typing the symptom into Google, and after a great deal of trawling through 'cures' which included amputation, I found that I could add this numbness to the already quite large list of symptoms typical of one who suffers from a congenital spine disorder such as A.S. My worry subsided a little.

By the laws of probability, I can discount the prospect of amputation or life-long medication for a while. The bent neck, the lumps on the tendons, the loss of feeling in certain parts of my right hand, the ribcage thing, the swollen knee, and now this. How progressive.

I have not grown so old that I no longer care about what I put on my feet just so long as they are comfortable, but - it seems -  I have started to become a bit boring about sharing my aliments with the rest of the world. It's just that any problems to do with the spinal column always add about 30 years onto the sufferer - or that's how it feels from the inside.

In any case, I bet I paid about six times more for my Crockett and Jones' than the old bloke paid for his Adidas'.

31 comments:

  1. Are there any parts of you that still work properly?

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    1. None that I have any use for these days.

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  2. 'In this case I shall follow the learned counsel through the different parts of his speech' above, Tom.

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  3. It is hell getting older. Childlike, I just don't worry about it. Or, maybe I do.

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    1. I don't worry about anything like that, Donna, unless I am advised to by experts. I avoid experts.

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  4. Remind me how soon you are taking your symptoms to your physician-mate for a proper diagnosis and action plan.

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    1. Joanne knows what she is talking about, Iris.

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    2. Notice, Iris, how he avoided the question.

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    3. Hehe, Joanne, you are on to him! (Methinks you know a thing or two about men).

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  5. Thought of you when I saw somebody on Flog it on TV go round the Crockett and Jones factory to see how the shoes were made. Now know why they cost so much/

    And do agree that back problems immediately make you feel about ninety regardless of your real age.

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    Replies
    1. There is a 'seconds' outlet on some Saturdays at that factory. I must go there one day.

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    2. I would if I could find someone to push me that far.

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  6. Now you see it now you don't.

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    1. I was about to agree with you and it had disappeared.

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  7. You should get some warm, comfy slippers (with John Gray style red pom poms) to shuffle around in before your toes drop off. Never dismiss numb toes.

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  8. Never mind we only live till we die.
    Merle................

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  9. I often wonder what all those chavs are 'training' for!

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  10. Dear T,
    Alpaca insoles will do the trick. Meanwhile while you are waiting for your alpaca insoles, you should use two pairs of slippers and always put your spare slippers on the radiators so that they are always warm and you can interchange at will. That's what I do, and it seems to work reasonably well. Another tip is to keep a hot water bottle on top of a radiator and use it when you feel the need. A child's hot bottle can fit in an overcoat pocket. You can take it down the pub and use their radiator.
    As ever,
    Aunty Gladys.

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    1. Thanks, Aunt Glad. Neither I nor the pub have radiators, though.

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  11. Don't worry about the Diabetes - you'd be pissing every five minutes long before your feet fell off.

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  12. Tom …. where are you ? After writing this post about numb feet and diabetes and then we don't hear from you, I'm worried that your feet have dropped off !!!!Perhaps you've just been busy, Christmas shopping !! XXXX

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  13. How old can you be before trainers look naff?
    I am 52..........how many years have I got?

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    Replies
    1. -30. Trainers don't even look good on athletes, in the same way that orthopaedic shoes do no favours for anyone at all, especially ballet dancers.

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