Purveyor of Bollocks to the Crowned Heads of Europe
Thursday, 18 December 2014
Handy Christmas Hint
We all know that domestic murders tend to peak around Christmas time, when kitchens become war-zones and family members who have not spoken to each other for a year get together again so that they can renew the declaration.
Well here's a handy tip for defusing any situation which looks as though it's going to get physical - put a pair of rubber gloves on your feet and walk around talking in a very serious tone about whatever has sparked off the dispute.
I defy anyone who is not on the extreme side of the sociopathic spectrum to keep a straight face for any longer than two seconds when someone - in this case, Green-Eyes - dons the Marigolds.