Wednesday 30 July 2014

Tobacco - part of my five a day

Good news. Another bit of medical advice put out this morning says that there is no health benefit to eating more than 5 'portions' of fruit and vegetables per day, after a previous report said that 7 would be better. I haven't got time to eat 7 portions at the moment, so this comes as a great relief and comfort to me.

I tend to cherry-pick the bits of conflicting medical advice in any case, and I still cling to the choice one of a few years ago which said that smoking tobacco guards against Alzheimer's Disease. The fact that I can still remember the salient points of the argument means that it must be working.

Every morning, I wake up and give myself a little test by asking myself what day it is and who is currently the Prime Minister of the UK.

Ever since the coalition government, it has been taking me a bit longer to come up with the right answer, but the time I have had the 2nd cup of coffee I no longer care anyway.

I also comfort myself by recalling that, some years ago, I would regularly forget where I had parked the car, and often walked for a mile in the wrong direction before I remembered. Statistically, this means that either I drink less in the evenings, or my short-term memory is improving. Either way, it is yet more medical good news.

Then I remember that ever since I bought a city parking permit, I always park in the same place - right outside the pub.

14 comments:

  1. Who really gives a stuff about 5 (or even 7) a day? Best just to eat, drink, or smoke, what you enjoy. If you just happen to enjoy things that are good for you; all the better.

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  2. Tom - here I am at 9.35, switching on to find that not only have you put on your blog for today, but also had time to read the morning paper and discover the info about the 5 or 7 fruit/veggies a day. As I think I was probably a fruit bat in a previous life, I have no difficulty in eating 5 - 7 or even 10. But I do eat whatever I feel like and sod the outcome (salt excluded though - never use that)

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    1. I didn't mention the other bit of news about the Ebola Virus today - they think it was transmitted to humans via Fruit Bats...

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  3. The fact that the advice constantly changes makes heeding it more than a smidgen pointless. I stick to what I like, because life is for enjoying not worrying :-)

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    1. It's pointless to everyone else except the researchers and the companies who pay them.

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  4. Nanny state advice
    How to live
    How to behave
    How to die next

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  5. I never take advice..... but then you know that Tom.

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    1. I do, but only from people who know what they are talking about.

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  6. I take fruit in a form of grape. I find 5 a day quite easy to achieve. Raw fruit? Never touch it.

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    1. "A form of grape"....haha! Me too!

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    2. I think I could stick five grapes up my arse without too much bother as well.

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    3. I find my mouth is a perfect point of entry and no need to use my arse.

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