Sunday, 20 July 2014

Something evil this way comes


The wonderful and awesome (literally, this time) electrical storms which have been sweeping over the South (3000 lightening-strikes in 2 hours the night before last) have knocked out many automated electronic systems like cash-registers, but I haven't heard of any more obvious damage.

I tried to put some petrol in the car, but although the pumps were full and working, they wouldn't talk to the tills in the shop, so I had to take my custom elsewhere. The first thing that is going to happen in WW3 is the deliberate, complete and utter knock-out of the internet, then we will have to go back to buying vegetables on the street from stalls. Rumours will replace 24-hour rolling news, just like the old days.

After they have disabled all but the crudest of communication systems, they might want to set off a few neutron bombs. These bombs are brilliant, because they kill absolutely everyone - and their pets - who has not hidden in a lead-lined chamber, whilst leaving all the architecture and white-goods completely unharmed.

The ratio of washing-machines to humans will be about 50-1, and the housing shortage will be a thing of the past. The government - who have all been hiding in lead-lined chambers - will have their work-load dramatically reduced, as the population will consist of a handful of radio-therapists who hide in lead-lined chambers as part of their every-day job.

Ok, I am awake now, but these are the sort of thoughts which preoccupy my sleeping hours, especially at weekends. Last night it was not all dystopian visions of the future - it was much more basic.

I was on a large, earthen dyke behind a massive, wood-fringed field in the twighlight, when a small dog came running from the edge of the wood in sheer panic. Its owner went toward the wood to investigate, and then ran screaming in my direction. Something very big and very nasty was coming out of the wood.

I ran up the bank to try to escape it, and when I reached the top, I was horrified to see a gigantic, black dog appear at the crest which would have put the Hound of the Baskervilles to shame. There was nowhere to escape.

I waited for the inevitable attack, but the huge hound just ran straight past me.

At first I felt a huge sense of relief, but then it dawned on me.

The massive beast was running away from whatever was coming out of the woods...

20 comments:

  1. That makes 'something nasty in the woodshed' seem quite tame.

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    1. At least it never got out of the woodshed.

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  2. Oh Tom, how I love reading your posts. Like small stories in themselves. I in fact will not sit down to read you until I've had a full cup of coffee at my side. And when the bad times come you are welcome here. We have gardens and livestock and guns to take on the wooded creatures. And when it looks real bad we'll do ourselves in by overdosing on raw milk

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    1. Hmm. Difficult choice - a gunshot to the head, or a slow and lingering illness caused through drinking untreated milk...

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  3. Your dreams sound as if Andy Warhol's "Sweet Dreams, Baby!" have come true. I had a visit from my English man last week - he also had apocalyptic visions for the world.
    In my hometown Bremen we have a lead cellar. in the cathedral. Dead people lying around for some time get mummified there..

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    1. Your own lead cellar? Very useful. I might come to Bremen if things kick off here.

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  4. Alright, come clean, what had you been eating during the day - pickled cucumber springs to mind as a pretty goo
    indigestible choice.

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    1. Nah - it was the drugs I had been taking.

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  5. Too bad this dream was not in technicolor.

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  6. "Something wicked this way comes", is a Ray Bradbury sci-fi novel with the title a quote taken from Macbeth: " By the pricking of my thumbs, something wicked....."

    Your dream mirrors my own fears after the recent MH17 tragedy. The awful action of the Ukrainian insurgents and Russia's involvement is happening at the same time as the horrific conflicts and loss of life in Gaza and Syria. If I dwell on it I find it just too much to bear, especially when here in the civilised west the idolisation and adoration of talentless 'celebrities' is pushed in our faces day after day - even making the BBC news FFS.

    In my younger days, I used to fear for the future when nuclear war was a real threat from the USSR. But the technology was difficult and limited to only a few 'world powers'. With new technology it seems that any mad fool with dreams of world domination may be the cause of global devastation.

    ( Just the wine talking tonight, Tom.)

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    1. That's just the sort of thing I was thinking/not thinking, but with more words.

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    2. Always plenty of words from me Tom. But watching The Quiet American on BBC2 now. Brilliant Graham Greene novel, set in the French Indochine war as an awful forewarning of the later USA involvement in the "Vietnam War". And a touch of the Madama Butterfly tragic lovestory. One of my favourite books and films. Mr EM is filling our glasses as I switch off the lights to enjoy the full large screen experience.

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    3. Of course... I can't believe I fell for that one.

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  7. I shudder to think what the human race will become if the majority of survivors of such a cataclysm are politicians.

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