Thursday, 17 July 2014

Reasons to be cheerful

I still have work, and it seems to be tolerated that I carry it out at half the speed of most of the people around me.

This block of marble isn't too big to be taken to my workshop, it's just that I am plagued with horseflies there at the moment, probably sent from Norfolk to torment me.

Turning this block from rectangle to ovoid entails the donning of masks and ear-defenders, and the use of very noisy, very dusty, diamond rotary tools. When you are bent double and engaged in this sort of activity, you don't notice the horseflies creeping up on you until it is too late.

Anyone could do this work, and I wish someone else would. My glamorous assistant has withdrawn from the world - or at least my world - and because I come as a package, it is down to me to do stuff like this. Like I keep saying (out of irrational guilt at charging the same as my car-mechanic charges me), I don't get paid by the hour, I get paid by the results.

One of the lifting and shifting firemen asked me the other day, "What material do you like working with the best, stone or marble?"

"I hate both of them in equal measure, for many different reasons," was my honest reply.

I also added that - of all the jobs you could possibly think of - the working of stone and marble is the one most aptly suited to the description, 'It's like banging your head against a wall - it's nice when you stop'.


  1. I'd be very happy to send all our bloody Horse Flies over to Bath.... we've had an invasion. You'd better have a word with Dave, and I'll phone Francois.

  2. I can't help it, I must look up on my wall and quote you a framed beatitude a friend gave me:

    Something to do is a wonderful thing!.
    Keep up your stride. Stay in the ring!
    Labor is blessing. A bright one and true.
    Be thankful, be happy
    For something to do.

    Did you just snort?

  3. Isn't that what most folk feel about their jobs when they get near to retirement age - it's Nature's way of preparing us!

    1. I don't need to be prepared by nature - I've always had a strong sense of mortality.

  4. Why don't you bring it up to a workbench so you wouldn't be bent double when angle grinding? (Sorry the horse flies I sent in a fit of pique have arrived).

    1. That was an option I considered, but it has other draw-backs I won't bore you with.

      It's been a good year for horseflies.

    2. I think I sent more than one batch.