Purveyor of Bollocks to the Crowned Heads of Europe
Tuesday, 15 July 2014
More light than heat - just
The Boy's first big T.V. documentary was aired on Channel 4 last night, but we have to wait until tonight to see it on catch-up. It was a thing about British Commando recruits, apparently - maybe you saw it? The Boy did most of the editing - also apparently.
About two minutes after it finished, the phone rang. It was his mother and she sounded as if she was laughing hysterically. She said she was in tears. I suppose that doesn't preclude hysterical laughter though.
She had frozen the screen as the credits rolled, and stopped at his name. She then sat there for about an hour, looking at the frozen name of her son on national T.V. If she could have cut the screen off the wall and framed it, she probably would have. Mother's Pride - not just a crappy bread.
Funnily enough, I had bought the Boy a present only that day. I was in a charity shop and saw a hand-held floodlight for making films with. I bought it then took it into the pub, plugged it into a socket and temporarily blinded everyone within 20 feet. My god, it's bright.
I burnt myself when folding the aluminium screens back against it, even though it had been off for about 2 minutes. It must be about 50 million candle-power. These days, they use great banks of LEDs for the same job, and not only can you adjust the tint with colour changes, but they run virtually cold as well.
When I took it home and blinded H.I. by showing it to her, quickly followed by another burning accident, she expressed her doubts about giving it to the Boy as being too dangerous.
I said that he was hardly likely to leave it on, as it could not be ignored whilst blazing away, and he only had to get burned once to understand how it should be handled when turned off.
"He's not very bright when it comes to things like that," she rather cruelly said.
"He'll be a lot brighter once he has got this!", quipped I.
What a fabulously witty joke, don't you think?
The cropped picture of Baby Rat was sent to his sister the other night - it has private significance in this family which I will not bore you with. H.I. is standing behind in the un-cropped version, but I thought she might not want to be seen in her nightgown without written permission.