Monday 19 May 2014

£50 if you can say 'colloquial'


Yet again I am sitting at home, waiting for a phone call to tell me that the Volvo is fixed and ready to pick up, but the difference is that it's not my Volvo. I lent mine to the man who had to get to Bristol by 7.00 am, but that's another story.

The other day, I was standing next to the street with my little 5 year-old girlfriend, A, when we saw a man running as fast as he could in the middle of the road. He was not dressed as a runner, so the visual effect was somewhat incongruous, and we watched him legging it into the distance as if his life depended on it.

After he had run out of sight, little A turned to me with a puzzled expression on her face, and said in a sweet voice, "Why is he running in the fucking road?"

She didn't learn this sort of language from me, let me assure you, but I wish I had recorded it. At the risk of telling tales, I told this story to her father and - thankfully - he found it as funny as I did. He explained that when she first started at nursery school when she was about 3, she came home with a stern note from the teacher.

It seems that every time she made a mistake, tripped up or suffered some sort of minor mishap, she would exclaim, "Bollocks!", and the teacher rightly worried that this would become standard practice with the rest of the nursery.

As you may have guessed, her father works with his hands and quite often painfully misses with a hammer blow, etc.

I have a friend (now moved to Spain) who is Japanese, and although very stereotypical of her country in one way, she is extremely good at instantly taking on the traits and colloquial idioms of whatever country she is living in at any time. For instance, she can now swear in Catalan, so I am told.

We were playing cards one night, and there was a period of quiet reflection as the players assessed the value of their hands. She was obviously not pleased with the one she had been dealt, and broke the silence by saying so.

"Borrocks", she murmured.

19 comments:

  1. The title was a real offer to my Japanese friend, and the photo has nothing to do with anything, before anyone asks.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hello Tom:

    Years ago the young daughter of a friend, possibly at the age of 5 or 6, would go each day to 'help' the builders on a nearby construction site where they treated her with great kindness. Arriving home unexpectedly early one day, she was asked the reason. "We're buggered up for bricks," was her immediate reply!! Out of the mouths of babes and sucklings......!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm sure I have heard this story before - maybe we share a friend!

      Delete
  3. Flymows, strange music Tom - I have no idea what you are talking about - quite scary really. Do you think I have been bugged or something. I did get a kind of voice mail on Sunday morning very early on which a kind of automated voice asked if I was alright as I had not blogged for a week. My computer skills are really quite limited, so hope nothing creepy is happening.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The last comment I made on your blog did not produce any more disembodied sounds as the others did.

      It may be that someone has latched onto your blog to sell advertising, or it could be a weird coincidence. The phone call sounds a bit strange, too. Maybe you should go to your 'preferences' bit on the dashboard and change your password, just to be on the safe side.

      Delete
    2. A question for everyone else: Has anyone heard recorded sounds from Weave's blog after they have left a comment?

      Delete
    3. Just tested it again, and no sounds came out this time. What is that bit about 'creative commons licence' on your sidebar?

      Delete
  4. I wonder what my first word was.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My daughter's first word was 'fuck' which she somehow accidentally formed in her sleep when she was about 2 months old.

      Delete
    2. Am I to make an inference from this?

      Delete
    3. Could I prevent you from making an inference?

      Delete
    4. No. I was wondering if it was closely followed by her second word off.

      Delete
  5. Stormboy's first words were f*&@k, when he picked up a spanner. He was aping straight from his Dad. At the time we thought it was hilarious but it didn't bode so well at day care.

    (He's turned out a fine young man, btw.)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Kaloakwiall.
    Now where's my 50?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I had a friend who swore every second word with his young children. It shocked us, but not them. They all grew up to be shining citizens as well, but then again, kids rebel against their patents, don't they.

      You don't count - you're not Japanese.

      Delete
    2. Though you may be using Maori spelling...

      Delete