Happy birthday, Mr Shakespeare

Only in Italy (rolls eyes).

H.I. and me having been-catching up on the Italian TV series, 'Inspector Luca' the last couple of days. Anyone watched it?

I like it, but the format is the same with each episode - Luca in trouble. Luca encouraged to investigate murder by friends or political associates of murderer. Luca manages to shag the best-looking woman in each episode, no matter how badly he has been beaten up. What a man, but I suppose it must take his mind off things.

I particularly like the appearance of British soldiers who speak English without sub-titles, and speak it with a strong Italian accent. I love seeing how us Brits are portrayed by Johnny Foreigner, and am surprised to see that we are hardly ever treated with the disrespect that we usually deserve - or maybe it's because they wanted to sell the series to the BBC? Everyone seems to leave it to us to slag off ourselves. I think it is called, 'self deprecation', a trait that we are very proud of, being a non flag-waving nation.

Soon it will be St George's day, when the only English flags which are waved, flutter above the turrets of rural, medieval churches, when it is also Shakespeare's birthday. It is also dangerously close to Hitler's birthday, which makes the hi-jacking of the red cross on a white background by neo-nazis a little more meaningful.

Another trait we have is not liking 'making a fuss', so we let the fascists wave the flag if they jolly-well want to. Time has a way of sorting everything out, and if there is a fly in your soup, then just treat it as a little extra protein.

I get the impression that everyone of every colour and political persuasion waves the Stars and Stripes over there, so if a bunch of nazis use it as a back-drop to a K.K.K. meeting, then the impact is softened by the fact that the pinko liberals do the same thing.

In a way, we don't need to celebrate the birthday of William Shakespeare, because his well-known phrases or sayings permeate almost every conversation held in today's English - it is amazing how many of these he has coined which are still in common usage.

During the late 1960s, subversive Brits flew the Union Jack (correct name, 'Union Flag' - the 'Jack' was only raised on ships) constantly, but with a forced sense of irony.

People like Bruce Lacey and The Bonzo Dog Doodah Band always had it up somewhere, and usually had some bloke in Victorian or Edwardian costume riding a Penny-Farthing, or singing through a loud-hailer funnel. I used to find the competition for who was the most eccentric embarrassing, and still do.

These people are now pillars of the community, and despise most of the creative stuff which comes from the generation below them, or they simply don't understand it. Same old, etc.

The other myth which us Brits love to perpetuate is that we have a unique sense of humour. We don't. We don't even have a unique language to tell the jokes, and I get fed up with every Brit who perpetuates the other myth that all Germans lack a sense of humour altogether. It is amazing how long the effects of a well-run propaganda machine last into the future. We are now on the fifth or sixth generation of that one.

The humourlessness of Germans or the absence of irony in North Americans is nothing when compared to the propaganda put out by the invading Romans though.

2000 years later, most of us still believe that we were all a bunch of savages before they arrived, whereas the reverse is true, especially on the Saturday-night streets of every town in the country.

English humour is very good, but always weary. Australian humour is razor-sharp and usually lethal. American humour is highly observant, and always fresh - and that's just the English language.