Thursday, 27 March 2014

Too much, too soon


I can't believe the animal-hoarder was moaning about being a few short of having 700 followers, and I can't believe that about 6 people actually responded to his petulant screams for even more attention by signing up - just to shut him up - like giving into the child in a sweetshop.

You know what you have done now, don't you? Next thing, he will be saying that 706 is 'unbalanced' (sic), but it should be 'imbalanced'. No, wait a minute, he might have meant 'unbalanced' after all, without even realising it. No, wait again - he only used the word 'balance'. I am putting words into his mouth (ooh, missus), but I just know he would have said that.

Whatever, the more you give into him, the more he will want until he will be asking you to round it up to the nearest sixth zero, such is his insatiable desire for fame and notoriety. It has gone to his head, and we all have a responsibility to bring him down to earth gently - Going Gently.

I wonder if - when he gets his own T.V. series, as he surely will - he will bother with all of us who put him where he is today, and I wonder if he will have the time to take care of all those animals which also put him on the map?

What will happen to all those poor souls in Intensive Care, when he takes his uniform off for the last time?

All I would say to him is remember the Singing Nun, John.

Think on, lad. Think on.
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60 comments:

  1. Tom Stephenson27 March 2014 at 03:21

    All jokes about dirty habits welcome.

    ReplyDelete
  2. John Going Gently27 March 2014 at 03:24

    I prefer black habits
    They are much more flattering on the hips

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tom Stephenson27 March 2014 at 03:54

      Coarse, rough ones, I dare say.

      Delete
    2. Em Parkinson27 March 2014 at 04:35

      I'm weaving him a hair shirt.

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    3. Tom Stephenson27 March 2014 at 12:20

      Weave him a hairy chest - he likes those.

      Delete
    4. John Going Gently27 March 2014 at 12:35

      Too bloody right!
      I like my men rugged

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    5. Tom Stephenson27 March 2014 at 12:44

      Is that 'rugged' as in 'carpeted', or rugged as in a Welsh mountain like Mol y Golva?

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    6. John Going Gently27 March 2014 at 13:15

      Both

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    7. Tom Stephenson27 March 2014 at 14:40

      Then Russel Crowe is the man for you. Proceed with y blessings/

      Delete
    8. Tom Stephenson27 March 2014 at 14:42

      OH F.F.S! - This is the third time I have mistyped this comment!

      Then Russel Crowe is the man for you. Proceed with my blessings.

      Delete
    9. Anonymous27 March 2014 at 14:53

      Russell

      Delete
    10. Tom Stephenson27 March 2014 at 15:22

      What do you call a man with a load of dried leaves on his head?

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    11. Tom Stephenson27 March 2014 at 15:23

      Or: What do you call an Irishman who has been dead for 600 years? Pete.

      Delete
  3. Cro Magnon27 March 2014 at 03:25

    Aunty Gladys has already been put on overtime. Fan mail, and chicken bottom wiping.

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  4. The Broad27 March 2014 at 07:05

    If we don't watch out he will be the next Alan Titchsmarsh and we will never forgive ourselves.

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    Replies
    1. Tom Stephenson27 March 2014 at 12:20

      Titchmarsh - another unlikely sex-symbol.

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    2. John Going Gently27 March 2014 at 13:16

      I have you know..I have the perfect face for television!

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    3. Tom Stephenson27 March 2014 at 14:38

      Perfect arse - as exposed to the rest of the villagers on a regular basis.

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    4. John Going Gently28 March 2014 at 00:30

      I suspect that is a sexual fantasy of yours!

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    5. Tom Stephenson28 March 2014 at 02:53

      Maybe, but with Charlie Dimmock, not you.

      Delete
  5. Anonymous27 March 2014 at 09:42

    This comment has been removed by the author.

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    Replies
    1. Tom Stephenson27 March 2014 at 12:21

      I am going to take a little while to understand this one, Susie/

      Delete
    2. Tom Stephenson27 March 2014 at 12:37

      Oh, you deleted it. Now I will never understand.

      Delete
  6. Britta27 March 2014 at 10:48

    Dear Tom,
    as you are wary (or was it 'weary'?) of my youtube links, I have to sing myself: "Dominique, nique, nique ...il ne parle que du bon Dieu". Maybe that is the gentle way... but there is a lesson in it: when the singing nun became secular, she soon was forgotten. So: beware of fickle fame, J.G.

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    Replies
    1. Tom Stephenson27 March 2014 at 12:23

      I know. That's why I made the allusion without resorting to You Tube links. She not only became secular, she became a fully-fledged carpet-muncher as well. Sad end, though.

      Delete
    2. Britta27 March 2014 at 13:49

      My vocabulary has broadend again.

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    3. Tom Stephenson27 March 2014 at 14:39

      Did you look it up?

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    4. Britta28 March 2014 at 03:19

      Yep - having a gap in education there.

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    5. Tom Stephenson28 March 2014 at 14:43

      Between what?

      Delete
  7. Molly27 March 2014 at 12:01

    National 'Have A Go At John' Day?' You're on your own Stephenson

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    Replies
    1. Tom Stephenson27 March 2014 at 12:24

      Then why did you - like Heron - bother to join this little party, Golver?

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    2. Tom Stephenson27 March 2014 at 12:31

      (John, put her right could you? Either she is serious, or I don't understand Welsh humour.)

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    3. Tom Stephenson27 March 2014 at 12:34

      I think she has even jumped ship! As if I can afford to lose followers like the animal-hoarder!

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    4. John Going Gently27 March 2014 at 12:38

      I thought heron might pop up
      All the talk of habits
      Nuns look a little like Druids

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    5. Tom Stephenson27 March 2014 at 12:41

      Especially the bearded ones.

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    6. John Going Gently27 March 2014 at 13:15

      Molly, you are a sweetie

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    7. Molly27 March 2014 at 13:24

      You don't understand Welsh humour and 'No I'm not serious and this is getting complicated

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    8. Tom Stephenson27 March 2014 at 14:37

      Oh, after all that druidic stuff, I am getting paranoid. Carry on - with my apologies.

      Delete
  8. Anonymous27 March 2014 at 12:32

    You are right. It didn't make sense.

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    Replies
    1. Tom Stephenson27 March 2014 at 12:42

      Have another try. You've got two goes left.

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    2. Anonymous27 March 2014 at 14:58

      Briefly, there is a lot of sucking up in blogging. Almost everywhere.

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    3. Tom Stephenson27 March 2014 at 15:21

      I would suck-up, but what good has it done me in the past? Anyway, I draw the line at sucking anything of John's.

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    4. Anonymous27 March 2014 at 15:56

      I like it when he calls me a cow. One has to do some non-sucking up to get called a cow. Most women probably prefer all those xxxxxxs.

      Delete
    5. John Going Gently28 March 2014 at 00:27

      Cowxxxxx

      Delete
    6. Tom Stephenson28 March 2014 at 02:56

      He calls me a cow every now and then, if that's any consolation to you.

      Delete
    7. Anonymous28 March 2014 at 04:36

      I feel all warm and fuzzy. Like a cow. Moo.

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    8. Tom Stephenson28 March 2014 at 05:02

      I feel a bout of bovine encephalomyelitis coming on.

      Delete
  9. Sol27 March 2014 at 14:20

    still thinking of an insult, I still have nothing.

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  10. Joanne Noragon27 March 2014 at 14:23

    I first knew John back in the day someone discovered him standing in the Ukrainian village. I believe he had the usual numbers back then. Has anyone studied the cause of the bell curve? Tom complains about his overreaching, but I'm sure some investigation could reveal the method, if not to all of us, to Tom.

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    Replies
    1. Tom Stephenson27 March 2014 at 14:45

      That Google Streets picture is seven years old. He is wearing trousers in it, I believe. I experience The Bell curve every night.

      Delete
  11. Rachel Phillips27 March 2014 at 14:34

    Did I miss him on The Voice or something?

    ReplyDelete
  12. megan blogs27 March 2014 at 20:43

    For some unknown reason, my earlier comment didn't take. I had the earworm "Dominique" after reading your blog entry, and i see now that i wasn't the only one.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tom Stephenson28 March 2014 at 02:52

      Yes, it was going through my head all day yesterday as well. It's just started again. Thanks.

      Delete
  13. Rachel Phillips28 March 2014 at 01:50

    Forget the nun, bring on the priest.

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    Replies
    1. Tom Stephenson28 March 2014 at 02:58

      I have been trying to forget the nun for about 45 years now, but that bloody song keeps going through my head again. I might do you a priest story.

      Delete
  14. Melanie28 March 2014 at 13:48

    This photo reminds me of Donald Sutherland and tool boxes. Should I see a professional?

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    Replies
    1. Tom Stephenson28 March 2014 at 14:40

      A professional what? Do you need an actor, a plumber or a nun? Maybe the nun would have some DeWalt tools in their kit... aha - maybe I know where you are going with this one...

      Delete

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