Tuesday, 4 March 2014

Sleepy life in middle-England and the Dunkirk spirit


Us forty to eighty year-old inhabitants of Blogland have the same attitude to current affairs as they do in the rural, middle-England village of Ambridge - we don't often like them impinging on our little world of food, art and rants.

'The Archers' were/was heavily criticised by some recently, by actually reporting on the flooding of farms in Worcestershire as they happened, in real time.

Normally, a nuclear bomb goes off in Europe, and about six months later, Jill will say to Shula, "Wasn't it terrible about that nuclear bomb going off in Belgium? Those poor people - I feel quite sorry for them with all that mess to clear up."

This time, the hard rains were still afallin' when a handful of them rallied round their stricken neighbours about 40 miles away, and travelled off in two tractors to rescue sheep and take them to the higher ground of Brookfield Farm.

This was The Archers fulfilling their original brief to be a service to the agricultural communities of G.B. - a service which has, up until recently, been falling behind in favour of the sexier business of illicit affairs and cut-throat business practices involving sausages.

The agricultural advisor drummed-up a bit of Dunkirk spirit by encouraging the scriptwriters to force David and Tony to perform an act of altruism which they - under normal circumstances - would not be able to afford.

Well I don't know about you, but I'm rather worried about (as Mrs Dale used to say) the situation in the Ukraine.

I am no expert, but I feel I need to become one quickly, just in case that nuclear bomb really does go off in Belgium.

This is all I understand as of the present:

The Crimea is strongly pro-Russian, Kiev is not.
There are two major oil pipelines running through the Crimea which come from Russia.
Germany depends on Russia for 40% of all its oil imports.
Germany is the biggest supporter of the Ukraine becoming part of the E.U.
The USA resent the E.U. as much as they resent Russia, but have massive trade-deals in place which the E.U. would dearly like a piece of.
The Western part of the Ukraine would dearly like to become members of the E.U. and Russia would dearly like them not to.
The Crimea would dearly like to be aligned with Russia, if not return to Russian territory after Kruschev gave it away 60 years ago, and Kiev would not.
Yesterday, the British Government made it transparently clear (by accident/on purpose) that they would like to keep all their pet Russian oligarchs on board by opposing the Ukraine entry into the E.U. and opposing economic sanctions against Russia.

And - last but by no means least:

All World Wars start on European soil.

23 comments:

  1. I have just noticed that this is my 1666th post. Now let me see, when did the Great Fire of London occur?

    I can just hear Jill Archer now: "Wasn't it terrible about that fire in London? Those poor people, having all that mess to clear up!"

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  2. ....awwww she DOES however make lovely soup

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    1. True, but don't you just hate listening to Ruth and David pretending to eat it?

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    2. What really sticks in my craw I'd fucking helen archer simpering over rob the sod

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    3. No - we needed a good villain, and Rob fits the bill nicely. My greatest hope is that he will sexually molest the kid. It's about time The Archers caught up with that branch of nastiness.

      ('I'd fucking Helen'? A Freudian slip, surely?)

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    4. Not a chance in hell
      I secretly fancy ian
      ( only because of the accent)

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    5. What happened to the totally unbelievable Welsh gay who was the landlord of the other pub? At least Ian is gay in real life (I think). I almost spat out my Chardonnay when I heard the Welshman say, "I'M GOING DOWN TO LONDON FOR THE 'PRIDE' MARCH - I WOULDN'T MISS IT FOR THE WORLD!"

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  3. Maybe a plebiscite should decide the Ukraine's future. If it went the way of the EU, Russia would attack. If it went the way of Russia, everyone else would attack.

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    1. I think that is what's supposed to happen, isn't it?

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  4. I intend to bury my head in the sand as there is nothing i can do about it anyway. Sorry.

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    1. No need to apologise to me, Weave. Just check before you make any overseas holiday arrangements, that's all.

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  5. Succinctly put, Tom -- if only the BBC could wrap it up as completely we could all concentrate on important stories like the fate of Oscar Pistorius...

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    1. Oh, I thought you were talking about the really serious issue for a minute - The Oscars. I was going to say that was yesterday's news and spoil it for you. "I want to thank my mother...sob..."

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  6. If PRI interviews one more retired army general I may scream. Past no boots on the ground, they are of fifty opinions. I needn't mention, no two opinions alike. One mentioned today Putin hasn't much in the way of an army. It seems to me, that little army could do well against no boots on the ground. Now I'm going to take pictures. A pox on most of their houses.

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    1. We have one retired General who we call on to state the obvious in situations like these, and he is called General Sir Michael Jackson.

      He now calls himself 'Mike' Jackson, because he got fed up with having to explain that he was a fighter, not a lover.

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  7. I was discussing it after the Archers the other night. It is awful isn't it? But then I told P he would be in the Home Guard and he asked what he would have to do and I said the farmer up the road would be in charge of that and he started swearing that he wouldn't work for him but I reminded him that all the bloody layabouts who do fuck all around here would get called up and that would sort them out and we need a good war and then he agreed with me.

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    1. Do you ever take an in-breath when you write, Rachel? I quite like the idea of Dad's Army, but I don't think we could get away with it these days, even if there wasn't an invasion like last time.

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  8. they will shut the gas off. then see what happens.

    in my head, I think when there are wars or other, we should lock all the politicians in one room and let them cage fight it out. But you know what, Putin would kick all their asses. isn't he something like some crazy martial artist?

    seeing a map of Crimea, and where the gas is extracted, you can see why they want it. Why take an area unless it has minerals, gas or oil.

    we are in for some scary times now. really scary. (looks in the apocalypse stock pile cupboard... eyes it like Carole from the walking dead)

    lets hope the weather stays mild.

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    1. Putin got beaten up in a display Judo match a couple of years ago, then stopped the footage from being televised.

      Perhaps we ought to frack after all.

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  9. Thank goodness I glaze over at this kind of thing. It has saved me so much worrying over the years about whether the third world war is going to start.

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    1. I am a little too young to remember the 'Bay of Pigs' crisis which almost sparked-off a nuclear war, but I do remember the adults wandering around looking a bit worried at the time. Turns out they could have just ignored it - what good would worrying have done in any event?

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