I have already told you what my mother's last words were (and what great ones) but I don't know what my father's were. I will have to ask my surviving sister who was with him at the end, before she too kicks the bucket.
I went to stay with him a couple of weeks before he died, and when he knew he did not have long to live.
He started to look a little agitated one evening, and I asked him what the matter was. Eventually, he came out with what was on his mind.
"The worst thing about all this is that I will miss you kids."
I almost laughed, but as I get older, I know what he means.
He was such a handsome man, eh? Why am I not so good-looking, I wonder? Something to do with the wrong picture in the attic, I am guessing.
Love that photo . You can almost hear him laughing
ReplyDeleteI don't know what the photographer did to get such a broad grin, as normally it was a thin smile. Maybe us kids knocked the mirth out of him.
DeleteYes very handsome and great sense of humour methinks. Would have got on well with my father who was also in the RAF. Wonder if they ever met? Now looking for him ( your father) in your header picture but can't quite identify him. Is he there?
ReplyDeleteFunny about his quip about missing his children - I often think along those lines myself. Weird.Cx
I believe him to be beneath the 'P' in Stephenson, standing right at the back as he always did in any social gathering.
DeleteI found that picture in a WW2 pamphlet on Bomber Command. His career was cut short when - alone in the rear gun-turret of a Wellington - he crash landed in a field in Kent.
When he got out of hospital, he was poisoned by a German spy in London, but survived that too!
He did have a sense of humour, but it was more Benny Hill than stand-up. That's probably where I get mine from.
That's him!
DeleteMy father was in the RAF during the war,
He trained as a navigator
I told everyone in school he was an alligator
You never talk about your parents, John - are they still with us?
DeleteNo tom
DeleteMy mother was a bitter alcoholic ( though was entertaining at times ) and died in 2002
My father died telling a joke in 1989
My family was and are my siblings
Oh, I see.
DeleteHe had movie star looks.
ReplyDeleteHis teeth met all the way round when he bit, front included. The joke was that he was the only person we knew who could crunch a banana.
DeleteHe was big too - not too far off 6' 6", but as he got old, I - at 6' 3" - was eventually taller by about 5 inches.
DeleteWow your Dad was so tall. Too tall to be a pilot like mine. Rejected from the Navy but happily accepted by the RAF for pilot training in WWII. Then I married my 6' 5"
DeleteViking. But so were my mother's brothers. 6 foot to a man. So why am I 5ft 2.?
My paternal grandfather (obviously his dad) spent a while as a strong-man in a circus, bending iron bars and picking up weights, etc. They were all East End Jewish immigrants from a few hundred years ago though, as we later found out. We used to own a brewery you know. Maybe that's where I get that from as well.
DeleteVery handsome, and very kind eyes. Radiant - and inspiring confidence. Of course he will miss you.
ReplyDeleteNah - I am sure he must have forgotten about me by now.
DeleteNo. You are not forgettable. Nice post.
DeleteThat's a nice thing to say, Susie (unless it is the 'game' which makes me unforgettable...)
DeleteMy Dad was in the RAF ….. perhaps they all knew each other !!!!!!! { I don't think so !! } He certainly went through a lot didn't he ? Our Dad wouldn't tell us much about the war.
ReplyDeleteI think that you look so much like him ….. did he have the same hair as you { it looks like it } and, did it go silvery grey like yours ? XXXX
He didn't talk about it much either. I have his general body shape and hair, yes. I inherited my mother's penis, though (only joking!!!).
Delete"I will miss you kids" is so sad.
ReplyDeleteIn fact, I think you resemble your father, except a little more genial; softer demeanor. Just from my couple of glimpses, of course.
Why so introspective?
Yes, it was sad, which - ironically - is why it almost made me laugh. The introspection must be a winter thing, I think. It is tied up with the insularity to do with staying indoors for most of the time, and that relates to the way that old age (I don't think of myself as old btw) often confines people, making them spend most of their time looking out of the window and thinking about the past. In the same way as you sometimes cannot see an end to the winter, I am finding it hard to visualise my future right now, in any positive sort of way. For the first time in my life, I feel like a failure, but I'll get over it by Springtime and I am so lucky to have the gang who love me as I do them.
DeleteYou'll have me fucking crying in a minute.
DeleteWell, she did ask. I do make it sound more dramatic than anyone else's winter gripes, but that's what a good fund-raiser does. Just send a cheque to the address I will send you via a private email, then I'll shut up.
DeleteYeh, you certainly got 'em going today.
DeleteHe has 'smiling eyes'. A smile never looks totally sincere without naturally smiling eyes.
ReplyDeleteVery true. He was a kind man, but - like a lot of other dads - found it difficult to show his emotions until he reached old age.
DeleteDads are better at it nowadays.
DeleteThat's also thankfully true. When dads weren't, a compliment meant so much more that they do now though, I think. No kid is allowed to be a loser any more, unless they are never encouraged by mildly abusive parents. In our day, it was possible to fail an exam, not just not get a high enough grade to pass.
DeleteYes, I think Cro is right. My dad could never show his feelings until he got to the age when any mention of family brought tears to his eyes.
ReplyDeleteSome of those tears were guilt - justified or not. When my mother died, my father never expected to see us kids again, and was so pleased that we did not ignore him. That was sad too, but at least he understood in the end.
DeleteYour father has such a nice kind face and it's wonderful to have a picture like that where he has such a wonderful smile. My father was also very emotional when he got older -- the family, beautiful music, scenery, poetry, memories -- could set him off. It was endearing, but sometimes we did have to laugh!
ReplyDeleteIt must have been a generational thing. We never went through any wars - or at least I didn't. No Korea, and no Falkland Islands for me. Too young for one and too old for the other - even though there was no conscription!
Delete