Wednesday, 29 January 2014

Losing your identity


For one reason or another, I am having quite a lot of anxiety dreams at the moment. Last night, someone stole my identity.

I was in a pub or restaurant - some public place - and I went to pay for something, only to find I had somehow picked up someone else's wallet. Inside were two cards (about five less than in mine) and both of them not only didn't have any numbers on them, but they had no names either, so I didn't even know who they really belonged to.

As I tried to explain my predicament to the person I was supposed to be paying, it dawned on me that the wallet had probably deliberately been substituted for mine by the thief who was using my cards at my expense somewhere else at that moment.

I went to call H.I. on the mobile phone I found in a different pocket, but the phone was a fake, toy one.

I searched for some other means of payment in my jacket, and suddenly realised that I was wearing someone else's suit as well. I thought it unlikely that the thief would have been able to dress me in an ill-fitting, cheap suit without me noticing, so there was only one possible explanation.

I had lost my own identity. I no longer existed as 'Tom Stephenson', if I ever had.

I took the jacket off to expose the real me beneath it, but then I was cold so I tried to put it back on again. This was a big mistake.

I could not find the right arm to put through the right sleeve, and eventually managed to turn the whole thing inside-out without ever getting it on. From the inside of the unlined suit, I could tell it was of extremely bad quality and made as if for a theatre production.

The management called the police as the whole restaurant looked on in horror. They had never seen a non-person before it seemed, and it was an upsetting sight.

There is only one thing to do in situations like this, and that is to wake up and try to find yourself again. It could take all day.

32 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. No, not a nightmare. I haven't had a nightmare since I was a child.

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    2. I'm tempted to call you Mephistopheles: " I am the spirit that always denies" (dear Goethe has a quote for every situation - and I hear you thunder 'No!'). But of course you are right - nightmares might be even more nightmarish.

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    3. We used to have a bank which always said 'yes'.

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  2. BUT …… Tom Stephenson doesn't exist ….. maybe you have been hoist by your own petard !!!!
    The Hairy Cunts Cookoff !!!! XXXX

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    1. I exist in the ether. Hairy Cunts Cock-off.

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  3. Nightmare but made me laugh!

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    1. No, not a nightmare. Just a summing up of my life at this point.

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  4. That was a horrible nightmare. Sounds like it's right out of 'The Twilight Zone'!

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  5. You have my sympathy, I frequently have anxiety dreams and they always involve untidy and dirty rooms or houses. When I awaken, I am always relieved that the detritus hasn't followed me. I have no reason to be anxious at all, so I wonder why these dreams occur.

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    1. In real life, there is no escaping the detritus. That's what dreams are made of. Just because you're not paranoid, it doesn't mean that they're not out to get you.

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  6. Hilarious post. Thanks for another good laugh.

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  7. A couple of years ago I dreamt that Brad Pitt was coming around to take me out to a one million dollar shopping trip. I'm waiting for him to this day.

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  8. I last had that sort of dream as a teenager. I wonder why they stopped.

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    Replies
    1. Because you have led a blameless life, I expect.

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  9. Next time you dream, sing this. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3wSi1LnkJOo

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    1. No, that was when I used to take a lot of acid - hell and heaven become almost the same thing.

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  10. The real truth is that I don't exist, and my past is catching up on me.

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    1. You could also put it in Zen-words: you have found enlightenment by forgetting your Ego. (Here I would like to put a taboo smiley).

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    2. It's ok - you can put in a smiley.

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  11. Sounds like the CBT might be a very good idea after all.

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  12. And you were naked in the packed restaurant - dreams of this nature invariably involve nakedness in a crowd.

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    1. No, I wasn't naked. Still had everything on except the jacket.

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