Purveyor of Bollocks to the Crowned Heads of Europe
Monday, 7 October 2013
In the light of FIFA moving the upcoming football World Cup in Qatar from Summer to Winter (when the temperature drops to a pleasant 35 or so degrees), someone has come up with the brilliant idea of moving the Glastonbury Festival to the Winter as well.
The reasoning behind this suggested move is that it would turn back the clock in terms of making the event more of a memorable endurance test and right of passage, as it used to be in the old days. Glastonbury has turned from a mud-fest with sparse facilities into a venue most favoured for corporate jamborees, along the lines of Glyndebourne or Henley Regatta.
The last couple of Glastonburys' have even been virtually mud-free, thanks to unseasonably good, Summer weather, and I have missed the sight of bespattered girls turning up - gurning - to our pub on the following Monday or Tuesday. I've had to bespatter them myself this year.
Nobody is - any more - asking why on earth FIFA awarded the hosting of the World Cup to a country where - in the Summer months - you can fry a steak on the tarmac of any road, even in the shade. The Economy, stupid.
Like Formula One motor racing, the sport (I should say 'game', really - only fox-hunting and shooting are traditional 'sports') of football is saturated with oodles of money, and in order for the governors of FIFA to stay saturated themselves, they have to cosy up with a few oil tycoons whose oodles out-oodle all the other oodleaires in the world put together. They've got a minus-20 degree artificial ski-slope in the desert there, with real snow, for heaven's sake.
In Formula One, the tyre manufacturers, Pirelli, are coming under attack from the drivers for supplying tyres which degrade too quickly, and often even blow-out on 150 MPH bends, putting their lives in even more danger than they were already.
Nobody is - any more - asking why this company is, all of a sudden, making inferior tyres to the ones they made only a few years ago. The Economy, stupid.
The huge TV corporations which spend trillions on the rights to televise the event worldwide, were becoming bored with tyres which never failed, because infallible tyres make for poor TV, where the races are dominated by a combination of good drivers and good cars - all going round and round until the end of the race, with the outcome usually predictable from the start. Everyone - despite what they may say in public - likes a good crash.