Purveyor of Bollocks to the Crowned Heads of Europe
Saturday, 28 September 2013
The turn of a pretty ankle
I've just seen a rather pathetic CCTV video clip of a man who simply gets down on all fours behind a young woman in a public place, and points his iPhone up her short dress in order to take a little 'up-skirt' shot of whatever is going on up there, presumably to take home to watch in private.
When challenged, he insists that he was just patting a dog which happened to be in the vicinity, but the security footage is far from ambiguous about what is really going on.
He got 5 years probation for the offence, which is ironic since he himself is/was a probation officer at the time.
One of our red-top tabloid 'newspapers' recently employed a genuine midget photographer to capture scenes just like this, but he used massive press-outfit cameras (proudly strung round his neck) with flash to shoot his material, which made me think that - combined with the fact that he was never prosecuted - there must have been an element of collusion between the starlet and the paper. Call me naive if you like. He didn't even have to bend over to compose the shot, either.
Here in the UK, a trend amongst very young people to exchange images of a highly sexual nature via their mobile phones has become widespread, and has lead to middle-aged men pretending to be teenagers in order to blackmail their victims into supplying yet more. They threaten to post the existing images on the net, or - worse - email them direct to the parents.
A sinister social development (according to a very young friend - honest) is another widespread practice of young girls completely shaving their pubic hair, on the spurious grounds that it is 'unhygienic'.
Of course, the real reason is that 99.9 percent of all pornography involves completely shaved fannies, and to intimately present yourself as you have been formed by nature is now highly uncool. All those young men have been brought up on a diet of hairless pornography, and have been jaded into feeling that anything else is simply a turn-off.
This is only one of the reasons that I hate pornography, but - combined with all the others - the net effect of them is that they just jade users into requiring more and more extreme images in order to get any titillation at all. It is now watched from such an early age, that it has prematurely taken away the childhood of about two generations now, and I hope that the early users will come to understand this before they embark on any meaningful adult relationship.
There is one interesting and positive spin-off associated with the early use of extreme pornography though, and that is a sharp decrease in teenage pregnancy. It seems that young men are imitating their pornographic heroes, but I will not go into details about how.
I am not quite of the generation who got turned on by a glimpse of a pretty ankle, but somewhere a few years back in my records, there is the mention of Health and Efficiency' magazine - the almost innocent form of erotic photography which kids of the 50s and 60s used to find in the hedgerows of leafy, suburban Surrey. Beach-balls featured heavily, I seem to remember.
The pubic hair in H & E was physically airbrushed out of the photos, which left us all somewhat confused and none the wiser, in the same way that Ruskin's limited, pre-marital knowledge of the female form was garnered from a classic education involving the study of white marble, classical Greek figures.
Still, it was fun finding out - something denied to all those 14 year-old lads with iPhones these days.