Tuesday, 23 July 2013

Yet more German humour


Just time to tell you this story, before I go for another early night. I am now worrying that I have already told it...  Anyway:

My German friend went to dinner with a rather well-to-do couple recently, and when  he arrived in the house, he noticed that the husband was looking a bit sheepish. Eventually, they sat down at the table for the meal, and the story came out.

Early that morning, husband and wife had been relaxing in bed, and she was snuggling up to him with her arms wrapped lovingly around his neck.

Sensing an opportunity for a good joke at the same time as sensing that he was just about to let off a huge fart, he took a deep breath, tensed every muscle in his body and forced it out with as much back-pressure as possible, in order to make it as loud as possible.

Unfortunately (you've probably already guessed), he did not realise that he had developed a bit of a gastric problem overnight, and he completely and violently filled the small space between them with about a gallon of liquid manure, in the blink of a sleepy eye.

A little later during the dinner-party, my friend got up from the table to visit the lavatory, and the hostess said, "Oh, sit back down, Thomas. We don't bother with toilets in this house!"

16 comments:

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    1. I still weep with laughter every time I think of it.

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    2. I so wish I could be THAT funny

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    3. ... in the face of adversity...

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  2. I shall try that tonight to see if it gets a laugh.

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    1. I can guarantee a laugh from me, but I don't know about Lady M.

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    2. An old friend of mine used to say 'When you get to 60, never waste an erection, and never trust a fart".

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  3. Hmm. We are sinking low again here Tom - although I grant you it is very funny. I shall be very careful in future.

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    1. What are you trying to say? Not funny enough to transcend filth and degradation, or too funny to mention?

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  4. Hi Tom, managed to track you down eventually having seen your comments on John's blog for a while. So glad I did as I needed a arse-related laugh after a bad day.

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    1. We all need arse-related laughs, Em, and we need bad days like a hole in the arse (to quote Ernest Hemingway). Thanks for dropping by.

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    2. P.S. - I've just started following your blog about rambling on Dartmoor - come to think of it, how come you had about 30 comments per post, when I am your only follower so far?

      A picture is worth a thousand words?

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    3. I think there may be some kind of followers malfunction occurring....you're number 69. I'm saying nothing.

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    4. What a wonderful coincidence - that's my lucky number! Head to toe reading from now on.

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