Saturday, 27 July 2013

Apologies in advance...

...for this post, which amounts to nothing more than an impotent rant.

Here in the UK, we are subjected - on the radio and TV, 6 nights a week - to various critics telling us what we should think about various art works, covering the entire spectrum of media.  The programme is called - on Saturdays - 'Saturday Review'.

Well, I just wish that all these talking heads would make just one film; just write one book; just paint one picture; just make one drawing; just make one sculpture - just one measly artistic endeavour before trying to tell the rest of us what is fucking good and what is fucking bad.

Completing a one-year course in Art History or Film Studies is just not good enough. Having parents rich enough to be able to buy a £500,000 minor painting isn't good enough either. Personally knowing or liking Cameron bloody Macintosh is not good enough either.

Make an effort or shut the fuck up, is my advice to all you useless and waste-of-space critics.

(I expect to receive glowing reviews for this post)

Below is a clip - a long clip - featuring the art critic, Brian Sewell, who is so over the top that I actually enjoy listening to him.  Yes, he is for real, in case you wondered...

20 comments:

  1. Calm down. They are obvious idiots.

    (I attempted to pub "obvious" and "idiots" in bold, but my html skills rank down with the intelligence of the six night a week critics.)

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    Replies
    1. Why should I calm down? (Anyway, I will have by tomorrow).

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  2. Well, I don't live there, but I enjoyed the rant. Rant on!

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  3. Everyone's a critic
    Everything gets criticised

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    Replies
    1. Or you just could be like Kate Winslett and never listen or read reviews ever!

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  4. Things must be bad in the UK for Mr Cameron to have a part time job as a critic - O Whoopsie ! I see I have mis-read Terribly sorry Old Boy!

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  5. Brief but meaningful
    Acerbic yet tasty
    Colorful without being too mauve and useful for all future critics as a reference point.
    I give you a 9 of 10.

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  6. I used to say something similar to The Pompous Arse Sewell.

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    Replies
    1. Sewell is so extreme - what with the voice, ect. - that I would actually miss him if he went.

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    2. I've just posted a clip of Sewell, so that we can appreciate the voice again.

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  7. Replies
    1. I knew I could depend on you, Sarah.

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  8. I love, love, love Mr. Sewell - such a creativity in bitterness and loathing (you must be quite good and know what you are talking about to chisel your words like that), and such a lovely snobbish voice and manner to speak. He works hard to deserve what Henry Fielding called his critics: "Dear little crocodiles!"

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    Replies
    1. Sewell is the master of all embittered, camp critics. A close second is the British historian, David Starkey. I can forgive both of them for anything, simply because of their delivery.

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    2. Britta, I knew him back in the late 60's, when he would come into the gallery I was managing (just off Harley Street), and announce in his most high pitched schoolgirl pomp that nothing was by who we claimed it to be. We had to throw him out on several occasions.

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    3. But he kept coming back, I think? Where does he come from? Is his posh accent genuine? Quick wit: to add to the 'I am from Vienna - you know: a bit Austria, a bit Hungaria.." of the alledged hostess of the Casanova-ball in the TV-snippet above "..and Transylvania", is really funny.

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    4. I think I am right in saying that he had a rather strange, lonely up-bringing in London with his mother, but it wouldn't be hard to guess that, or even make it up.

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