Tuesday, 21 May 2013

Now look what you made me do


I was sitting in the kitchen this morning, drinking my second cup of coffee, when - for reasons unknown - I shoved my own thumb painfully into my left eye.

When H.I. asked what I had done and how I had come to do it, I suggested that she had somehow telepathically got into my head and forced me to punish myself for something I had done to her in the recent past.

She liked that idea, and began staring at me every now and then with a malevolent look in her eyes, whilst doing the washing-up.

A little later, I farted, then I blamed it on her - "You made me do that," I said.

I remember when it was quite common for certain people - sometimes dads - to say, "Now look what you made me do!" whenever they made some sort of mistake or cock-up.

They never gave anyone else credit for their triumphs, though.

26 comments:

  1. It's called sharing out the blame Tom - where do you get your fantastic sketches from?

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    1. Ripped from Google images, without so much as a by-your-leave.

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  2. I actually spat my coffee out when I read the first paragraph !! { sorry } XXXX

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  3. Why blame yourself, if you can blame someone else. Politicians and clerics are pass-masters; you're just joining a very well established club.

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    1. I had tried so hard to be grown-up all these years too.

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  4. For some reason your story reminded me of the Little Jack Horner nursery rhyme -- so I googled it and discovered 'Jack' was really 'Tom' and it was all about an act of thievery -- he stole the deed of a mansion from a pie bound for Henry VIII. The pie had 11 other deeds of mansions hidden in it so the 'deed' wasn't noticed and the ancestors of 'Tom' live in the house to this day. And you are to blame for this journey into the realm of the thumb...

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    1. Hey, that's a bit convoluted ..... anyway Jack was actually John Horner and members of his family still farm the lands.

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    2. Don't be rude, Heron. For a start, it wasn't convoluted at all, and for another start, Jack Horner was a close neighbour of mine in Mells, Somerset, so I am glad of the history.

      Don't go putting off people giving informative comments to me - nobody has done that to you when you listed Celtic gods and goddesses, seemingly endlessly.

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    3. 'Grumpy bum'? Do you have grandchildren?

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  5. I have just regurgitated a little bit of scotch egg when I was driving home
    We're YOU responsible telepathetically for this?



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    1. I wish I could be - I would love to make you fart when you bend to receive your knighthood (services to chickens), but you seem to manage well enough on your own.

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  6. Are you saying that your mind is not your own Tom ? :)

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    1. I've just given you a little piece of it - you decide.

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    2. And another thing - cut out the silly :) smily faces. You're too old, and nobody believes them anyway.

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    3. O you poor man are you a Mr. Grumpy today ?
      ;-)

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  7. The STC CROSS
    Hummm
    I kinda like that
    ( smiley face)

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    Replies
    1. The Order of the Garlic Dog-Fart? Oh no..... (Peep!)

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    2. {'full colon' sounds a bit dodgy - doggy - under the circumstances}

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