Saturday 11 May 2013

Here we go


I look at the calendar on my phone, and it tells me that today is, indeed, a red-letter day. I know that it is my birthday today, but I have a sneaky feeling that something else is happening. Oh yes, H.I.'s daughter is getting married today as well.

Today I get to wear the Armani suit and the Crockett and Jones shoes at the same time. I'll probably throw on a Pierre Cardin tie too.

Once I am suited and booted, I will pick up a friend's 400 horsepower, black, Mercedes two-seater sports car and pick up the bride to deliver her to her near husband.

I say 'near' husband, and that also means that he is geographically quite close to where I pick up his near wife. The wedding venue is a matter of about 600 yards from their house. What a waste of 400 horse-power.

I suppose if the road is clear (not likely for Bath on a Saturday) and I really put my foot down and take the 90 degree bends as tight as possible, I might just about be able to approach the waiting guests at about 100 MPH. When I pull away to park up having dropped her off, I would have liked to have sprayed the congregation with a face-full of gravel, but I don't think the traction-control will allow it. No, they will just have to guess as to what this car is capable of, and so will I.

Poor daughter was been waiting for this day for over 40 years now, and has talked of little else for about one of them. I am really pleased for her and her lovely fiance, both of whom I love dearly. It is no real hardship to sacrifice one of my birthdays of no particular significance - honest.

I will try to show you some photos of the event, but I think they may be all copyrighted as soon as the light hits the back of the camera. You will just have to wait until 'Hello!' magazine comes out if you want to see how it all went - unless I come unstuck in the Mercedes, in which case you might see some pictures on the 9 o'clock news.

Think Robert Altman's 'A Wedding'.  I wish I could stop thinking that.

17 comments:

  1. Happy Birthday to you Tom - what 42 again is it :)

    No finer a tribute can have a man have than for his daughter to pick this date for her wedding.

    Congratulations and very best of good fortune to all concerned, says this old druid !

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    1. Thanks Heron. I have to say that the two significant events were accidental. She thought at the time of booking that the date rang a bell...

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  2. Happy, happy birthday Tom and many happy returns.
    Wishing the happy couple a wonderful day with all of their family and friends.
    Can we see a photo of you, all suited and booted ?
    Have a lovely day all of you. XXXX

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  3. Happy birthday, Tom!
    And the very best luck to the bridal couple! The month of May is a wonderful time to marry.
    So: enjoy all the celebration (and the ride with the Merc).

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  4. Happy birthday, Tom. Best wished to your beloved couple. Pictures optional.

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    1. Many thanks, Joanne. There will be dozens of disposable cameras on the tables, and I don't think they are supplied by Hello! I'll do my best.

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  5. Well at least she won't forget your birthday ever again, and I imagine you won't forget her anniversaries.

    Happy Birthday Tom. Drive carelessly.

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    1. Good points, also made tonight! Somewhat sinisterly, the Google logo for me is a series of birthday cakes spelling GOOGLE, and when you hover the cursor over it, it says 'Happy Birthday, Tom!'

      I am not sure I like that.

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  6. Happy birthday Tom!

    I bet you've had/are having a wonderful time at the wedding. Sounds like you might have outshone the groom in your sartorial elegance. Wishing your daughter and her new husband a happy married future together.



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  7. Happy Birthday Tom & best wishes to all.
    Try not to spill champagne on the suit. Or the shoes.
    I'll be watching the 9 o'clock news.
    Jx

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    1. I didn't crash the Merc, so no news is good news. Thanks Rusty.

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  8. Brilliant. Happy Birthday Tom and lots of congratulations to the happy couple too. Have a wonderful day xx

    (PS how about posting us a photo up of you in all your posh gear)

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