Purveyor of Bollocks to the Crowned Heads of Europe
Sunday, 13 January 2013
Over the weekend, H.I. and me watched the entire series of 'Sherlock' from a boxed DVD set lent to me by S.D. Everything about it is bloody wonderful, from the visuals to the music to the acting and the script, and it almost made me wish I had gone into a career in film, as my 8 year-old self wanted to. What a brilliant bloke Mark Gatiss is, and hats off to BBC Wales for the commission.
I went to such a nasty and useless school, with 99% of the teachers being sadistic misanthropes who should never have been let loose anywhere near children, but in those days most teachers took the job because of previous failure in their chosen field.
When it became obvious that maths was never going to be my strongpoint, the teacher asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. 'A film cameraman' was my answer.
"You will never be a cameraman without a degree in mathematics - all camera angles are worked out using maths, so you don't stand a chance", he lied.
What a nasty way of putting a child off both mathematics and his ambitions for his chosen vocation in life. At that point I gave up on both, because I believed him, and knew I had a real mental block with numbers. I got zero points for my Maths 'O' Level.
I bumped into my friend S yesterday, and we stood chatting in the freezing rain for as long as it took for him to decide what cut of meat he was going to buy from the butcher whose window we were staring through.
S is a very successful cinematographer (as they are now called) and is coming round to dinner next week with his lovely missus (who also works in film) plus a couple of others. You will have seen a lot of S's work on screen, from pop-videos to features.
I bumped into him a while ago, having just watched the first series of Sherlock, and was so fired up with it that I told him he simply had to get a job on it. Then he told me that he already had, and on the extras disc of the first series last night, I caught sight of him looking over the director's shoulder at some fresh footage outside 221B Baker Street. Phew.
The job does have it's down-side though. A few years ago he came back to Bath absolutely shattered from a week in London, all of which he had spent in the company of the Spice Girls. He raised his eyebrows and I tried to look sympathetic.