Purveyor of Bollocks to the Crowned Heads of Europe
Thursday, 16 August 2012
I got back from a good drenching in Tetbury yesterday, and whilst there learnt that our friend's ancient family title of 'lord' may be lost forever, because her cousin - it's inheritor - had the misfortune to be shot dead in Spain recently. Oh well, the way things are going, it wouldn't have been much use to him in any event.
From being tearfully distraught and anxious about her A-Level results yesterday, and having got them this morning (all passes, including one A), our Green-Eyed Girl is now - presumably - over the moon and not, as feared, sick as a parrot. I started to suggest that things may not be as bad as she feared last night, and she told me to shut up. If you believe in fate, then maybe it's a good thing I did. She has just called up, and actually used the phrase, 'over the moon', so now I am sure.
All over the south of England, about half a million 18 year-olds are either being consoled or celebrating and I really feel for the poor little things who have somehow fallen into the category of 'failures', but - I suppose - you cannot have success without a comparison to the opposite.
I left school (just before I was 16) with two 'O-Levels' (Art and English Language - surprise, surprise) and only got into Guildford School of Art by a whisker. I actually made school history for being the only pupil to have achieved zero points for Maths. Their consolation to me at the time was that it could have been worse - the score could have been minus one if I had spelt my name wrong. Luckily, my natural ability in English Language and a good memory for faces saved me from further disgrace.
This generation of A-Level graduates have been tested all through their school lives, just for the sake of the League Tables and the Head-Teacher's natural desire not to see their school relegated into the bottom league by OFSTEAD.
To require a five or six year-old to sit an exam is simply robbing them of their childhood. Even Christopher Robin was allowed to wait for the 11-Plus before he was stopped from doing 'nothing'. That reminds me, I failed my 11-Plus as well.
Now that it is every young person's 'right' to attend a university, the country's economic decline is slowed down a little by the massive debts loaned to the next generation of students by the banks in order to cover tuition fees, rents, food and parties. Because we no longer have any significant industry, the drop in demand for factory-fodder has opened up more and more places in universities, and now that all those military regiments are being disbanded, cannon-fodder is also - thankfully - not needed either.