Purveyor of Bollocks to the Crowned Heads of Europe
Tuesday, 10 April 2012
The truth is out there - both of them
Having not watched television since they made 'Tales of the Unexpected' (which is probably why I thought it dated from the 60s) I had never - until the night before last - seen a single episode of 'The X Files'.
I was in a charity shop last week and found the complete box-set of the second series for £3, so I bought them and we have watched three episodes so far. I think I might leave it at that and take the set back to the shop for resale.
All I knew was that 'The Truth Is Out There' in the form of little green men, but I didn't know that the series also dealt with all sorts of other strangeness, including a creature which is half man, half lugworm and lives in a sewer.
I normally love dramas which call for a complete suspension of disbelief, but The X Files, just takes this requirement a couple of steps too far, especially since it is filmed almost completely without humour. Actually, having said that, I cannot believe we were not supposed to laugh when the Sewer Creature hides in a Portaloo, then gets sucked - with difficulty - into a transport tank through a very narrow suction-pipe.
Of all the paranormal events in the first three episodes, the most unbelievable was the way that Scully's large breasts retained perfect shape as she lay flat on a hospital trolley wrapped only in a sheet. They looked like a couple of blancmanges, pointing straight at the ceiling as they did. I also could not believe that Molder would not have taken advantage of the situation by grabbing one of them for old time's sake as she lay unconscious and unable to stop - or encourage - him.
Those were the days when to answer a cell-phone meant having to pull an arial from the top of a brick, and implants were almost unheard of, especially in female agents of the FBI. These days, I am sure even male FBI agents have them as a matter of course, but not back then.
Having sat through about an hour and a half of unexplained impossibilities, when Scully's tits came into shot from beneath the sheet, H.I. and me just looked at each other and said, "Oh, COME on..."