I'm treating myself (not you) to two posts today - because I'm worth it.
Last night, I was sitting and talking with friends, when the subject of 'the worst thing you have ever done to a child' came up.
The penultimate story was a good one - another acquaintance was throwing his baby daughter up to the ceiling and catching her, as you do, when he fumbled the last catch and dropped her on the hard floor, breaking her arm. After we had all stopped laughing, I related the following story which - before you call Social Services - happened a long, long time ago.
When I was in my twenties, I somehow found myself doing light maintenance for a 50 something year-old woman and her daughter, in return for a room to live in their house. Both of these women were complete pains-in-the-arse, and I had just about had enough of them after about one month.
The daughter had just given birth to yet another female in the local hospital, and about three weeks after she returned home, both the women asked me to take the baby out for a walk in the pram - as well as taking the 2 dogs at the same time. There was no sign of a father.
These were not well-behaved dogs, and I said that I could not cope with them AND a baby at once, but they insisted I should do so, whilst they had a beauty-treatment, or some such flippancy.
So I came up with a plan to cope, tied the two dogs to one arm of the old-fashioned pram and set off.
I reached the first T-junction at the end of a busy road, then - without warning - the dogs saw something on the other side which they found attractive and ran off toward it, tipping the pram over and spilling the baby right onto the road where it fell into the path of an oncoming bus.
Luckily, the bus-driver had good reactions, and managed to avoid running the child over. I scooped up the baby and examined it for injury, but - luckily again - there was none. She didn't seem to enjoy the experience, though.
When I got back to the house, I was furious, (the baby had screamed all the way home) and the mother and daughter asked me what the matter was. I shouted, "I'm NOT doing THAT again!" and told them the story.
You should have seen the looks on their faces!
What's the worst thing you have ever done to a child - without malice aforethought?