Wednesday 8 February 2012

A PUBLIC APOLOGY - and some bad news...

Apology: I have, in the very recent past, been guilty of attempting every joke about sausages that includes the obvious likenesses to certain male attributes, and these poor-taste jokes have also come complete with serving suggestions at another blogger's expense.

Well, all this talk about bangers (including some really explosive serving suggestions) reminded me of the much under-rated Black Pudding, of which I used to be quite fond a few years ago, and still opt for in the hotel breakfasts which are brave enough to offer it. So I bought one tonight. A prize, 'Bury' one, in fact.

I suppose I could exploit the classic shape of this porcine delicacy to make jokes about female anatomy, but who do you think I am? All I am saying is that oranges aren't the only fruit, and you can read into that what you wish.

Basics: Why is pork meat white? Because the first thing they do - having killed the pig - is hang it upside down and slit it's jugulars, to drain the system of all the blood. Much of this blood goes to waste - either as fertiliser or pet-food - but a few buckets are taken away, mixed with pearl barley, pig fat and spices before being stuffed into a cow's intestine and cooked to produce the classic sausage known as Black Pudding, and very tasty it is too.

Now the bad news: The British chef who has done most to promote the use of the entire pig's carcase - Hugh Fearnley-Whitingstall ('nose-to-tail eating') - house has just burnt down somewhere in the North of England, and the fire seems to have started in the kitchen. At least it means that I won't be subjected to how bloody wonderful his house is in the near future, having unwittingly signed up to his newsletter when accidently visiting one of his restaurants.

Anyway, go out and get yourself a Black Pudding if you eat pork at all - it's such a waste not to.

Come on you miserable vegans - do your worst. You're too bloody weak to get the better of me in any case, because of your meagre diet! (Contentious? Moi?)

22 comments:

  1. Sorry Tom - I just could not face eating a black pudding.

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    1. I could not face eating a German 'Blutwurst', but I tried once. Liquid red blood all over the plate - not what I was expecting. B.P.s are nice and solid. Anyway, what does the Farmer thing, Weaver?

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  2. P.S. - t might be Anthony Worral-Thompson (prick with a fork) who pioneered 'nose to tail', but I can't remember. He has a bloody good restaurant in Spitalfields, London, and I feel for him about the kleptomania incident. Come back, A.W-T., a niche has been burned out for you and is ready and waiting.

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    1. I didnt say that the ladies referred to were all around 6 and 7 at the time........
      nowadays they would all need counselling

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    2. At sixes and sevens? Everyone had pigs in those days, and they were whacked on the spot - If I kept a piggy with a view to eat, I would put a .22 through it - E.U. allowing, of course. So much better than trundling them for miles to a stainless steel slaughterhouse.

      They probably need counselling because of you these days, John.

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    4. You flatter yourself. I wasn't apologising to you.

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    5. Only joking - it was directed at you!

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  4. Hugh Fw's house 'River Cottage' is in reality a huge foodie empire. Even my organic layers pellets have a 'by hugh's appointment' endorsement on the bag.

    This guy does some decent stuff to raise the collective consciousness (albeit with an attending tv series, books, etc., so he can afford to struggle on through the recession.

    This guy used to eat roadkill for heaven's sake.

    Anyway in his tv shows (of which there are millions it seems) every local Tom (!) Dick and Harry (& their Aunts) gets to cook in his kitchen.

    Some of them are bound to have been pyromaniacs. Just the law of probability.

    I wonder if John's gone the whole hog and had some black puddings too? Hang on I'll ask him...

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    1. Doesn't sound like it, Cbris. I actually like H.F-W, but I resent paying fillet prices for belly of pork at his rip-off joints. BURN!!!!!!!!!

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  5. although I love the occassional pud we didnt order any this time cbris

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  6. Two sausages were frying together in a pan. "Man, it's hot in here!" says one to the other.

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    1. Go on, Iris. ( Sounds like a Donna joke to me).

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  7. The one I eat is called 'Boudin Viande'. It's supposed to contain some meat, but I have yet to find any. It's V good.

    Sorry to hear about H F-W's home burning down, but I suppose he has so many by now, that there's bound to be at least one burning down at any moment.

    Is there a punch line coming?

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  8. It isn't HWF's home, just the barn where he runs courses..
    the fire in a video..http://www.rivercottage.net/about/latest-news/barn-fire-river-cottage-statement/

    and the aftermath..http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2098177/River-Cottage-Hugh-Fearnley-Whittingstalls-cookery-school-destroyed-huge-blaze.html

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  9. Hi :)
    The bugger of rearing pigs these days is that you have to take them to slaughter, and you're not allowed to have the Blood. I have heard tell that some slaughterhouses will let you in with a bucket, but it's all about knowing which blood came from whose pigs. Of course, this means that we're not allowed to make Black Pudding from our own pigs, we would have to buy Dried Blood.

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    1. There's a lot of unnecessary suffering been caused to animals by EU legislation which is supposed to improve their welfare. Many small and humane abbatoirs have been put out of business simple because their ceilings are about 1 inch lower than Brussels says they should be = or whatever - and the animals now have to go, in some cases, on a 100+ mile, one-way trip to be slaughtered. Good practice is much more likely if you allow smallholders a firearms licence and let them discreetly kill their own animals.

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  10. A customer complained to her butcher about the sausages she had bought from him last week.
    “They were all meat at one end, and all bread at the other.”
    “I’m sorry, madam,” said the butcher.
    “In these times of recession, it’s hard to make both ends meat.”

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    1. Ha! At least you furnish a punch line, Bernard!

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  11. I have only seen one abbatoir and I must say I was impressed with what I saw, mind you it was actually situated behind the butcher's shop that it served. It is small and (from what I could see) well run but it did surprise me that some of their clients had to travel fairly long distances to access it ( I was lucky as it is only a few miles away)

    To me, the vital ting about killing the pigs was the fact I wanted their stress' to be miminal.... in that vein I agree with tom.... killing your own pigs on their own land humanely would be the ideal... unfortunately although I could organise for them to be culled I could not do the killing myself... no way.....I doubt I could even be able to watch it.....
    perhaps, in some ways I am no better than the person who blindly buys a piece of meat at the supermarket, as in one way I absented my way from "doing the deed myself" and seeing the job through.... but the law is the law, and after looking through defra's huge manual on pig husbandry I can also see why the law states how things are to be done....
    I think it's a case of making the best of what is available.

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    1. True. And I couldn't bring myself to top any animal I had brought up, I think - but if I did, I would show it respect by eating it.

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