Wednesday 1 February 2012

Petrified babies

Hard frost, but no snow as promised by the screaming news articles. Last night, the drunken students set a new record by cavorting in the minus 4 streets in T-shirts until 5.00 a.m. Now it is only rain and poverty which keeps them indoors when everyone else is trying to sleep.

I spent most of last night and all of this morning formulating a plan to save such a cavorting student from his own excesses, and today I laid down the law which he has to adhere to in order not to spend the rest of his life working in a factory. I know it has always been traditional for students to live it up and get into debt, but this boy is pushing his luck. He has about a week to save himself, and the rest of the summer to redeem himself, otherwise the game is - once again - up.

Now I will put on another jumper and go to the workshop to light the little stove again, so I can carry on working on another petrified baby to release into the big, wide world.

9 comments:

  1. Stay warm, Tom, and good luck with the cavorting student salvation work. He won't thank you for it, but it is bound to be a good thing.

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    1. I'll keep you informed, and I will whip him until he thanks me - deadline: friday.

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  2. Oh to be a semi-naked student, now that winter's here!

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  3. Here speaks the stern man. Keep it up!

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  4. P.S. Re the title, I bought one ton of fossilised wood a few years ago, and the seller's wife had put a label on it saying - "FOR SALE: TERRIFIED WOOD"

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  5. What was the plan Tom. I may have to borrow it shortly for the same reason.

    Does it involve a shotgun?

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    1. I'm trying to avoid the use of shotguns in this situation, Chris. The plan is that he works his arse off and stops going out drinking all night - advice that I should follow myself, I think, but it's a case of 'do as I say, not as I do'.

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